My Fat Gods I've been a shocking example of a Fat Guru over the past few weeks!!! Following the fat funk of July 2010 which tail ended the deep fat funk of June 2010 and the even deeper fat funk of May 2010 come to think of it...I have really let the blogging go downhill...wish I could say it was because I was working soooooo hard at Satan's Lair that I haven't had the time or energy to blog about my efforts but...well...that would just be a lie now wouldn't it people!!!
Having come back from my Winter Sojourn in Melbourne all zen like and determined week 11 seemed to be somewhat of a let down... alright from a PT perspective things were OK...trained hard, worked up a sweat etc etc but really that was about it...piked on group training....completely failed in the Tour de Fat and really, other than a short run on the Tuesday during which my f'athlete injury reared its ugly head once again the week sort of came and went without much to do or real effort come to think of it. This combined with a terrible case of MASSIVE WATER/FLUID Retention (a joy that most males go through their entire lives without experiencing) and Sunday came around and I was in no state, mental or physical to do a weigh in....coward...YES....but I really couldn't bring myself to disappoint for the fourth week in a row and NOT be under 100kg!!!
So...just because I can given this is MY GAME...I've decided I'm not weighing in this week...I'm going to give myself another week to attain that ever elusive double digit on the death dealers!!! This is not unprecedented in terms of the Biggest Loser competition with the Australian series giving contestants a weigh in free or expulsion free week nearing the end of each series...so this is my week people!!
As I was pounding my fat little body into submission this morning (and not in a good way) I was trying to visualise the achievement of my objective...60kg and to be perfectly honest...I still can't. I know all the focus gurus tell you, VISUALISE...PICTURE SUCCESS...HOW WILL YOU FEEEEL WHEN YOU SLIP IN TO THOSE SIZE 12's.....
I don't f**king know how I will FEEEEL because I have been FAT my entire adult life!!! Imagination is one thing people but to me this is just la la land talk!!! At the moment, after 11 weeks of this somewhat tortuous experiment my one and only focus appears to be under 100kg and to be honest for the last 4 weeks I have let myself down week and week again...maybe it's psychological, maybe pathological, maybe I have simply convinced myself that being fat is easier??? I realise I am rambling but work with me people I have a significant lack of oxygen to the brain at the moment....
Tuesday and Wednesday came and went in a haze with only a mild effort on the exercise front being PT...although the Bastardo has stepped up the intensity to insanity levels I feel that the Bastardo and I have gotten in to a bit of a funk together...maybe I'm bored...maybe I'm boring (this I doubt given my obvious wit and humour!) but I am currently contemplating bringing in a new 'Jillian' type trainer for a few weeks to see if we can't really move some of this fat in a BIG WAY!! Just a thought...ponderings at the moment...
Anyhoo, today (being Thursday) was a complete and utter wipe out with no training due to...well due to lack of interest really...I am still at an absolute loss as to how the 'real' contestants on the Biggest Loser are able to maintain the perceived level of intensity as shown on the television for the entire competition because to be perfectly honest...as we all know I am yet to hit THAT level and would appear, for all intents and purposes to be going in the opposite direction!!
Adding to the fact that I am actually going to have to do actual WORK all next week...I mean actual 9-5 work...not at Satan's Lair...not just on my little fat experiment and things are looking really grim people...REALLY GRIM!!!!
The Fat Gods are really wreaking havoc with me at the moment...having come back from Melbourne on such a high...things have rapidly travelled downwards (and we're not talking about my weight people) in a matter of days...
Maybe I'm not cut out for this sort of thing...maybe FAT is actually MY THING (or THANG depending??) Maybe I need more positive reinforcement from my readers... people.... comments....suggestions.....abuse????
Alright...'nough said...I am off to ponder some more and hopefully by tomorrow I will have some more positive words of Fat Wisdom to regale you all with...I will also make at least one concerted effort to start blogging every day again...if only to bore you all senseless with my tales of fat woe...
Yours in continuing and perpetual over 100kg fatness
LBL
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Week 11 - Tuesday 20 July...I'm BACK Baby!!!
OH MY G....O....D!!! Where to start??? Well let's start with the basics...weigh in...now as we all know I had gone AWOL and was hopelessly lost on the Utopian Planet of Noexercise...in spite of the admirable efforts of my trusty support team G-Star, Bastardo and Madster...the only way back from this enticing and fattening universe was my own shear will power and determination.... determination to not let me or you, my supporters, down!!
So with dread in my heart and a lot of trepidation I headed back to Satan's Lair first thing Tuesday morning ready for a punishing work out with the Bastardo...however, first things first...the death dealers were awaiting my arrival with their sinister point 004's and snarling over 100kg's...
And the result...well let's just look at it from the competition perspective...I don't want to ruin the anticipation for you...
Australian Competition
That's right people...it's taken 10 weeks but I have officially (at least for one week) NOT come in last in the Australian competition...yeh for ME!!! My incredibly dark week of fat funk appears to have reinvigorated me and given my body the opportunity to FINALLY GET WITH THE PROGRAM and realise that what I am trying to do is actually a GOOD THING!! So, in spite of doing absolutely no exercise whilst we were in Melbourne (other than walking hundreds if not thousands - I'm being melodramatic here people...work with me - in search of retail therapy) the fact that I remained very determined not to overindulge in the caloric sense appears to have paid dividends!! I lost 900g or 0.9kg and am now teetering on the brink of only semi fatness (under 100kg) with a weigh in of 100.4kg for week 10!!!
Now to the US Competition:
Completely off the pace in the US series this week...go figure....
So with a new umph in my step and a new vibe in my attitude I hit Satan's Lair with aplomb today and gave an absolutely stellar performance in my PT session:
Session Length: 32min
Calorie Burn: 269
Fat %: 25%
And believe me...the session HURT!!! However, with my new attitude and vibe (at least I am trying to convince myself of that) I decided that after 2 weeks off due to my fathlete injury it was time to climb back on to the dreadmill and completely debase myself in a puddle of my own sweat...so booked in a run with the Bastardo for 3.00pm:
Session Length: 58min
Calorie Burn: 477
Fat%: 25%
So although not a BIG day time wise it was a good day being back in Satan's clutches and burning the fat!! This combined with a great food day thanks to my personal Chef...the Madster with beautiful combinations of vegetable rice paper rolls and a low,low fat beef nachos for dinner as well as my scrambled egg whites and sour dough for breakfast...this week is off to a flying start!
Feeling good people and am back in the mind set that I may, just may actually be able to do this...
Yours in fatness
LBL
So with dread in my heart and a lot of trepidation I headed back to Satan's Lair first thing Tuesday morning ready for a punishing work out with the Bastardo...however, first things first...the death dealers were awaiting my arrival with their sinister point 004's and snarling over 100kg's...
And the result...well let's just look at it from the competition perspective...I don't want to ruin the anticipation for you...
Australian Competition
| Contestant | Starting Weight | Week 10 | Loss | % |
| Lisa | 121.9 | 77.2 | 1.4 | 1.8% |
| Joe | 179.9 | 113.3 | 2 | 1.8% |
| Phil | 146.9 | 90.2 | 1 | 1.1% |
| Phoebe | 116 | 79.5 | 0.8 | 1.0% |
| LBL | 112 | 100.4 | 0.9 | 0.90% |
| Shannon | 214.3 | 144.2 | 0.9 | 0.6% |
| David | 165.6 | 103.6 | -0.1 | -0.1% |
| Rick | 172.6 |
|
|
|
| Caitlan | 179.0 |
|
|
|
| Daina | 105.2 |
|
|
|
| Chris | 129.9 |
|
|
|
| Wayne | 161.5 |
|
|
|
| Jarna | 118.8 |
|
|
|
| Teneal | 97.4 |
|
|
|
| Elise | 104.6 |
|
|
|
| Jenni | 130.6 |
|
|
|
| Geoff | 161.6 |
|
|
|
| Romi | 99.3 |
|
|
|
| Allan | 151.8 |
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|
|
That's right people...it's taken 10 weeks but I have officially (at least for one week) NOT come in last in the Australian competition...yeh for ME!!! My incredibly dark week of fat funk appears to have reinvigorated me and given my body the opportunity to FINALLY GET WITH THE PROGRAM and realise that what I am trying to do is actually a GOOD THING!! So, in spite of doing absolutely no exercise whilst we were in Melbourne (other than walking hundreds if not thousands - I'm being melodramatic here people...work with me - in search of retail therapy) the fact that I remained very determined not to overindulge in the caloric sense appears to have paid dividends!! I lost 900g or 0.9kg and am now teetering on the brink of only semi fatness (under 100kg) with a weigh in of 100.4kg for week 10!!!
Now to the US Competition:
| Contestant | Starting Weight | Week 10 | Loss | % |
| Victoria | 162.73 | 129.58 | 15.42 | 11.9% |
| Melissa | 105.91 | 91.38 | 7.71 | 8.4% |
| Sam | 169.09 | 120.46 | 6.35 | 5.3% |
| Stephanie | 120 | 90.48 | 4.08 | 4.5% |
| Sunshine | 125 | 94.58 | 3.63 | 3.8% |
| Ashley | 170.0 | 125.11 | 4.54 | 3.6% |
| Koli | 183.18 | 130.5 | 4.54 | 3.5% |
| Lance | 165.91 | 124.57 | 3.63 | 2.9% |
| Andrea | 135.45 | 105.48 | 2.72 | 2.6% |
| O'Neal | 176.82 | 134.12 | 3.18 | 2.4% |
| Michael | 239.09 | 176.88 | 3.63 | 2.1% |
| Darris | 157.27 | 110.95 | 1.81 | 1.6% |
| LBL | 112 | 100.4 | 0.9 | 0.90% |
| Sherry | 99.09 |
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|
|
| Cheryl | 103.18 |
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|
|
| Miggy | 109.09 |
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|
| Darryl | 190.91 |
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| John | 220 |
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| Cherita | 125.91 |
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| Migdalia | 120.45 |
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| Maria | 127.73 |
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| James | 220.45 |
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| Patti | 110.45 |
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|
Completely off the pace in the US series this week...go figure....
So with a new umph in my step and a new vibe in my attitude I hit Satan's Lair with aplomb today and gave an absolutely stellar performance in my PT session:
Session Length: 32min
Calorie Burn: 269
Fat %: 25%
And believe me...the session HURT!!! However, with my new attitude and vibe (at least I am trying to convince myself of that) I decided that after 2 weeks off due to my fathlete injury it was time to climb back on to the dreadmill and completely debase myself in a puddle of my own sweat...so booked in a run with the Bastardo for 3.00pm:
Session Length: 58min
Calorie Burn: 477
Fat%: 25%
So although not a BIG day time wise it was a good day being back in Satan's clutches and burning the fat!! This combined with a great food day thanks to my personal Chef...the Madster with beautiful combinations of vegetable rice paper rolls and a low,low fat beef nachos for dinner as well as my scrambled egg whites and sour dough for breakfast...this week is off to a flying start!
Feeling good people and am back in the mind set that I may, just may actually be able to do this...
Yours in fatness
LBL
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