Week 4 - Sunday 6 June - non weigh in day

Well here we are at the end of week 4 and to be perfectly honest I feel like a failure...I am absolutely dreading the weigh in tomorrow for fear that I am about to have yet another piss poor week further proving to myself that I (unlike the fat contestants in at Camp/Ranch Biggest Loser) cannot do this!

It's natural to want quick results...isn't that how they deliver it on the Biggest Loser? We, incredible fit and fabulous personal trainers that we are take 20 overweight, obese and morbidly obese broken, self loathing, sad, lonely, pathetic individuals and turn them into physical machines worthy of our time and efforts and we do this all in 16 odd weeks - can someone say 'God complex?'

So is it wrong that I feel like a dismal failure after a mere 4 weeks. That I had expected (no doubt led by the false 'sales pitch' of the Biggest Loser) that I was going to be pulling 4,5,6...15kg weight loses each week, look and feel fabulous and be a resounding success and poster child for Biggest Loser Weight loss at home? That I could, without barely raising a sweat, trot out 4-6hours of training per day 7 days a week and barely bat an eye lid? That I could...succeed???Perish the thought!

There has to be a fundamental mind shift that has GOT to happen this week or alas I really do believe that this experiment is destined for failure...big, fat failure!

I really don't know how I am going to do it, what I am going to do or even what I need to do...any and all suggestions will be given due consideration. To add insult to injury it would appear my broken and dilapidated body has decided to deliver its usual response to my weight loss efforts by way of an infected throat...this combined with the hang over of the stomach virus that seems yet to have passed (excuse the pun) through my system is, in a nutshell, making me feel like crap...a fun day was had by all really...

Need to have an early night and really pull this shit together...I refuse to allow myself to be eliminated in week 4 due to my own stupidity and lack of backbone...

Yours in fatness

LBL