Week 7 - Wednesday 23 June

'Hello my name is (insert name here) and I am a heffalumpa' and so begins the first meeting of fatty fats anonymous... or so says my avid reader Claudia who I was lucky enough to catch up with for lunch today...but we will get to that later...there is SOOOOO much to tell you before that!

The day started like every other over the past 6 and a bit weeks...off to Satan's Lair for a session with the Bastardo and what a session...having missed our last chance training on Saturday - long story blame Bastardo...he decided to 'make it up to us' by having our box a bastard today...it truly is scary how much pain that man can fit into a mere 45mins (I'm sure over the next few weeks I will also learn how much pain the lovely Marie can deliver through one of her RPM classes but we'll get to that later...much, much later!). So how did the session pan out:

Training Time:6.59am
Length of Training Time: 41min 01sec
Intensity: 1-3
Calories Burnt: 316
Cal Fat: 29%

In a moment of absolute weakness and mental incapacitation (obviously due in large part to lack of oxygen to the brain through exercise) I had agreed to give a group training session a burl with ma butiful bitch Treva (that's Britny Bitch!) - Treva is, without a doubt GLORIOUS...fit, fabulous and a veritable pocket of luscious fitness freak! Treva was taking a Body Vive class - supposedly low impact, high energy with a LOT of Whoo Hoos thrown in and your fat little loser - me - decided it was time to waddle in to the absolutely terrifying realm of (gulp)....Group Fitness...

Now why do fatties like myself HATE GROUP FITNESS you may well ask...because EVERYONE IS LOOKING AT US AND JUDGING US!!! Now of course you may well argue that in the fit and fabulous world of gymnasiums the only people the fit and fabulous are staring at is...well...themselves. However, we fatties do not see it like that...intimidated, self-conscious and well basically shit scared of making an absolute arse of our fat selves in front of a significant number of people at once usually prevents us (or at least me) from undertaking 'group fitness.' Fortunately for me...the shrine to fatness and my complete lack of any remaining dignity...group fitness is a go for one fat Living Biggest Loser...so off to Body Vive we went....

A combination of cardio, weights, balance and stretching for an hour at a solid slow burn heart rate resulted in the following:

Training Time:9.34am
Length of Training Time: 53min 28sec
Intensity: 1-2
Calories Burnt: 450
Cal Fat: 44%

Good effort but let's actually talk about technique...have you ever been privileged enough to witness a heffaluma attempting to do group fitness...it's a hoot...side step touch (trip) step touch side (trip), jump, bounce, grab (fall)...you get the picture. Ma Butiful Bitch Treva is just glorious on his stage leaping and bounding and jumping and singing and whipping (oops sorry being taken back to a club I used to frequent in my younger years...just kidding!)

In spite of the hour of humiliation and embarrassment I successfully saw my way through my first group training session with Treva...yeh for the fat person....

The rest of the day was pretty much spent on work, running (not literally) around and trying to ensure the choices for lunch out today were far superior to the unmitigated disaster from yesterday...Not exactly the week I was anticipating but hey, I'm getting used to that...three more days before weigh in...let's hope I can actually crack it out and pull the ever illusive under 100kg in week 7???

Yours in fatness

LBL