Thursday, August 26, 2010

Over before it began...

Apparently, unbeknown to me, in my absence (due to vile stomach flu this week) my Biggest Loser 'journey' has come to an end....or at least in terms of public humiliation and dignity stripping. My trusty little support network headed down to Satan's Lair this morning to be confronted with....nothing....that's right...nothing. Apparently advertising a fat person attempting to lose weight (and failing dismally) is not the target market of a national gym network! Of course I am just hypothesising here...no one has bothered to tell me why my fat shrine has been removed and let's face it, I wasn't the greatest advertisement of success but a phone call or e-mail would have been kinda nice!

So my failure it would appear is now complete.... no fat shrine, no fat loss (have been sitting at 99.4kg for the last two weeks), no passion, no drive just no, no, no...

Which brings us to the fact that was loudly and clearly enunciated by the G-Star this morning during yet another 'heated' one sided discussion (of course I simply don't respond) about completing what I started...conclusion...

I'm a gunna....no that's not a rank in the army, navy or air force...it's a state of mind and being...its a gunna....for clarity its the I'm gunna lose weight, I'm gunna fly to the moon using my fat a fuel, I'm gunna...

The last 16 weeks have been a waste...don't stop reading people this is not an entry of woe and fat but rather an entry of self reflection and self realisation...

Back to the last 16 weeks from woe to go I have not done this properly...I have not in any stretch of the imagination Lived the Biggest Loser...I've skirted around the edges...I've whined, whinnied and waddled my way through what could only be described as a lac lustre effort at fat loss biggest loser style. I have been pulled, prodded, platituded, promised, punished from here to still fat and haven't even come close to achieving what I set out to do...

I've let other people (apparently more qualified than myself) direct, instruct and deconstruct my original plan...to live biggest loser...and in the end I have failed. I have become so confused with this information, that information, no information, too much information...as Bob Harper so eloquently put it when screaming at Joelle...words, words, words...all I hear is fucking words...just shut the fuck up!!!

And now, with our spring/autumn sojourn a mere 14 days away, we can safely say that this attempted experiment is A BUST!!!

I have been contemplating this for the last few weeks, getting more and more frustrated at my lack lustre efforts and pitiful weight loss and today, like a tub of lard out of the blue it has struck me...it's time to take control of this again and do what I want to do...this is my fat body, my fat life, my fat experiment and gods damn it...I'm running this show. The removal of my fat shrine was just the last straw...Living Biggest Loser the first trial is officially DONE!!!

Now I really don't want everyone (namely the G-Star) flying into a fit of rage and lecturing me for the next 20 years about my lack of follow through, lack of commitment, lack of well everything!! I have come to the conclusion that I have gone about this all wrong and it's time to change the game plan....

So, my trusty readers/followers this is going to be my last entry of Living Biggest Loser - Trial Phase One....we are all agreed that it has not been a success. But never fear....the I'm gunna in me is NOT going to win!!! I still have masses of fat to lose people and by gods I am going to lose it on my terms playing my game!!

So, during my Spring/Autumn sojourn I will do my level best not to put on any weight...when we return in early October a new fat phoenix is going to rise from the lard and we are going to do this people and we are going to do this right...everything up until now has been a test...from October THIS IS NOT A TEST!!!

We are going to start again people and we are going to run this game properly...Biggest Loser Style...we are going to get input from the creators of Biggest Loser, we are going to train biggest loser, live, breathe, sleep, eat etc etc Biggest Loser...not the half arsed attempt I have made thus far...it's a clean slate people....I'm still fat, I still have 40+ kilograms to lose and I am still going to entertain you all while I am doing it.

The new blog will be bigger, better, more visual just MORE....

So, I will be contacting all my followers with the re-direct in a couple of weeks...I will be calling on you all to spread the word far and wide to as many of your friends, family and contacts as possible...together we are going to take my fat humiliation to a whole new global level and we are truly going to LIVE BIGGEST LOSER!!!

Until then my ever fatful followers....until then...

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