Well the day got off to a flying start with a bit of a new strategy in play. I found last week trying to crack out between 3 and 4 hours exercise in the morning left me absolutely rooted (and in desperate need of a Nana nap - if 2 hours constitutes a nap?#?) So the re-vised plan for week four is a) to eat something prior to workout 1 (that means first breakfast at 5.00am) then off to the gym for cardio and PT (2hours worth), home for second breakfast and then back to the gym for more cardio (1hour) home for lunch and work (possibly Nana nap) and back to gym for cardio (1 hour) - if I am holding up well enough then the plan is to go back to the gym with G-Star for an evening cardio session (1hour)...Well that was the plan and as we all know the best laid plans....
The day started off according to the strategy but then fell in one great big fat almighty slump...
Up and on the treadmill by 6.30 followed up by a PT and more treadmill saw the morning's efforts amount to the following:
Training Time:6.28am
Length of Training Time: 1 hour 12sec
Intensity: 2-3
Calories Burnt: 620
Cal Fat: 24%
Training Time:7.33am
Length of Training Time: 31min 37sec
Intensity: 1-2
Calories Burnt: 299
Cal Fat: 27%
Training Time:8.06am
Length of Training Time: 32min 07sec
Intensity: 2
Calories Burnt: 328
Cal Fat: 25%
So looking good you say...well that was really the end of it. Came home, had second breakfast with all the best intentions in the world and then...fell asleep for 2 and a half hours. By the time I emerged from my cave, the fat bear hibernation had set in and going back to the gym was a distant, distant memory.
Although by 5.30pm I had a little, and I mean very little, pep in my step and thought it might be challenging to step outside of my comfort zone and go to hot yoga with the G-Star (a professional Yogi from way back). Well that was just yet another embarrassment for the fat person with no flexibility. I spent 99% of the 1hour 15 min class in child's pose - you can actually read that as lying in the corner in a foetal position, rocking back and forward and sucking my fat thumb...not quite but nearly. I think I was thinking myself thinner and more flexible than I really am...no doubt a common mistake for fat people. Anyhoo, lesson learnt...for the time being NO YOGA...I think Yoga is appropriate for the following types of people:
Fit and Fabulous
Flexible
Fat
but definitely NOT the FAT AND NOT FLEXIBLE!
In spite of G-Star's never waining encouragement that I was really brave trying something new I felt in truth a real fat failure...not a positive outcome for a day that was already pretty ordinary to begin with!
Mental note...you are not an elastic band.
Yours in fatness
LBL
Monday, May 31, 2010
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Weigh In - Sunday 30 May
A victory of sorts...although aiming for a monumental weight loss week I think we all recognise that the effort expended was not going to deliver the outcome desired. That said, I did have a reasonable week that gets me at least competitive in terms of the Australian Competition.
The weigh in saw a weight loss of 3.2kg which now brings me to 106.2kg. In terms of the competitions, the weekly outcomes play out like this:
Australian Competition Series 5 (2010)
US Competition Series 9 (2010)
So put in perspective, I am once again in the elimination for the Australian series (but obviously my vibrant personality and the fact that I'm such a people person will save be for another week) and am looking pretty competitive in the US comp.
All in all a fairly positive day and the ever elusive 100kg barrier is looking more and more viable. The Bastardo was hoping I pulled a bigger amount but he is rather please that we have had a solid week.
So it's time to step it up another notch for week 4 - I'm in this game and am in it to win. Week four is going to see me introduce the weekly 'challenge'. To the best of my ability we will try to replicate the challenges delivered to the Australian and US contestants on a weekly basis from here on in. As far as temptation goes the fact that I am attempting to do this sans the Biggest Loser Camp or Ranch is temptation enough. So with that in mind...it's onwards and downwards (one would hope!)
Yours in fatness
LBL
The weigh in saw a weight loss of 3.2kg which now brings me to 106.2kg. In terms of the competitions, the weekly outcomes play out like this:
Australian Competition Series 5 (2010)
US Competition Series 9 (2010)
So put in perspective, I am once again in the elimination for the Australian series (but obviously my vibrant personality and the fact that I'm such a people person will save be for another week) and am looking pretty competitive in the US comp.
All in all a fairly positive day and the ever elusive 100kg barrier is looking more and more viable. The Bastardo was hoping I pulled a bigger amount but he is rather please that we have had a solid week.
So it's time to step it up another notch for week 4 - I'm in this game and am in it to win. Week four is going to see me introduce the weekly 'challenge'. To the best of my ability we will try to replicate the challenges delivered to the Australian and US contestants on a weekly basis from here on in. As far as temptation goes the fact that I am attempting to do this sans the Biggest Loser Camp or Ranch is temptation enough. So with that in mind...it's onwards and downwards (one would hope!)
Yours in fatness
LBL
Shairf Dean - Biggest Loser Legend and all round nice guy
Biggest Loser Australia 2009 was, I think, one of the best seasons yet. Once again although the majority of contestants were not particularly likable a couple did stand out as being bright lights throughout the competition. One of these competitors (and I must admit our pick to win) was Sharif Dean who came into Camp Biggest Loser weighing in at 178.3kg - Sharif entered Season 4 as the heaviest male competitor. What appealed to me about Sharif and his 'couple' team mate Teresa was that, unlike many of the contestants, they were smart, articulate, intelligent and focused on the task at hand - losing weight, not playing the bullshit games to 'win'!
With this is mind, I was really lucky to be able to track Sharif down who, since his amazing Biggest Loser challenge which saw him eliminated and then win a place back in the Camp to become one of the 2009 finalise, has started his own Personal Training Business called Sharifit.
Sharif, the G-Star and I met over coffee so that I might pick his brain and harness his experience in terms of the Biggest Loser Competition. What was really interesting was, Sharif debunked a number of my pre-conceived notions about the competition and highlighted there are a number of fundamental differences between what actually goes on in the Biggest Loser Camp and what we see for our entertainment consumption. With this in mind, I thought it would be good to share the information I gleaned from Sharif to provide some clarity and context around the game I am currently playing.
First and foremost contestants are not forced to train. Contestants are only obligated to be available for filming between the hours of 8am and 6pm - during this time the teams receive between a 20-45min group training session with trainers Michelle or Shannon which is filmed for the nightly program. During these training sessions contestants have to acquire as much knowledge about training techniques and strategies in order to be able to put these in to practice on their own if and when they chose to exercise for themselves.
For Sharif that meant approximately 4 hours of cardio per day. Sharif's typical day looked something like this:
5am - Wake up - Drink a hideous concoction of instant coffee and egg whites- 1 to 1.5hours slow burn cardio (Heart Rate of between 65%-80%) usually on the treadmill or cross trainer. This also included interval training to get the heart rate peaking throughout the session.
7/7.30am Breakfast: 1/2 cup of oats, punnet of strawberries, blueberries, 100g natural yoghurt, frozen raspberries and 5-6 egg whites.
8.00am Start Filming
10.00am Morning Tea
11/11.30am On Camera Training Session (aprox 45min) - Group Training Cardio + Super Sets
1.00pm Lunch
2.00pm Filming - if possible tried to get another hour of cardio (interval) training in
6.00pm Finish Day's Filming
7.00pm Another cardio session and dinner
8.00pm Cardio session for 1-1.5hours slow burn and interval
10.00/11.00pm - Bed
In terms of food consumption there was another myth debunked for me...all the contestants are required to cook their own meals. They are given the opportunity to fill out grocery shopping lists which are filled and kept in the kitchen however there are strict controls on what items can and can't be purchased (overseen by Shannon and Michelle). A treat was had once a week usually after weigh in and this consisted of a low fat ice block. In terms of Sharif's food control to say he became an authority on caloric in-take and out-put is a bit of an understatement - he knew down to sugars, carbohydrates and salt in foods and how they could adversely affect his weight loss. In terms of food and weight loss the contestants are taught on a purely caloric basis - watch the number of calories in the food and calculate require caloric out-put in order to achieve weight loss.
Another interesting tit bit of information was that the program is not actually tapped in a 7day cycle. Rather contestants train for 7days and the 8th day is weigh in day. On weigh in day the filming takes all day so no training can be done. In the case of Season 4 when individual teams (Blue or Red) went to elimination then that was another day of training out the window as Eliminations take all day to film.
Other than re-stating how absolutely fabulous Sharif still looks, I'd like to end this blog by highlighting that Sharif is a great, intelligent, informative and really nice guy. I really appreciated the time he gave me and I hope to be catching up with him again soon so I can fill in more of the gaps about the show.
Til then, yours in fatness
LBL
With this is mind, I was really lucky to be able to track Sharif down who, since his amazing Biggest Loser challenge which saw him eliminated and then win a place back in the Camp to become one of the 2009 finalise, has started his own Personal Training Business called Sharifit.
Sharif, the G-Star and I met over coffee so that I might pick his brain and harness his experience in terms of the Biggest Loser Competition. What was really interesting was, Sharif debunked a number of my pre-conceived notions about the competition and highlighted there are a number of fundamental differences between what actually goes on in the Biggest Loser Camp and what we see for our entertainment consumption. With this in mind, I thought it would be good to share the information I gleaned from Sharif to provide some clarity and context around the game I am currently playing.
First and foremost contestants are not forced to train. Contestants are only obligated to be available for filming between the hours of 8am and 6pm - during this time the teams receive between a 20-45min group training session with trainers Michelle or Shannon which is filmed for the nightly program. During these training sessions contestants have to acquire as much knowledge about training techniques and strategies in order to be able to put these in to practice on their own if and when they chose to exercise for themselves.
For Sharif that meant approximately 4 hours of cardio per day. Sharif's typical day looked something like this:
5am - Wake up - Drink a hideous concoction of instant coffee and egg whites- 1 to 1.5hours slow burn cardio (Heart Rate of between 65%-80%) usually on the treadmill or cross trainer. This also included interval training to get the heart rate peaking throughout the session.
7/7.30am Breakfast: 1/2 cup of oats, punnet of strawberries, blueberries, 100g natural yoghurt, frozen raspberries and 5-6 egg whites.
8.00am Start Filming
10.00am Morning Tea
11/11.30am On Camera Training Session (aprox 45min) - Group Training Cardio + Super Sets
1.00pm Lunch
2.00pm Filming - if possible tried to get another hour of cardio (interval) training in
6.00pm Finish Day's Filming
7.00pm Another cardio session and dinner
8.00pm Cardio session for 1-1.5hours slow burn and interval
10.00/11.00pm - Bed
In terms of food consumption there was another myth debunked for me...all the contestants are required to cook their own meals. They are given the opportunity to fill out grocery shopping lists which are filled and kept in the kitchen however there are strict controls on what items can and can't be purchased (overseen by Shannon and Michelle). A treat was had once a week usually after weigh in and this consisted of a low fat ice block. In terms of Sharif's food control to say he became an authority on caloric in-take and out-put is a bit of an understatement - he knew down to sugars, carbohydrates and salt in foods and how they could adversely affect his weight loss. In terms of food and weight loss the contestants are taught on a purely caloric basis - watch the number of calories in the food and calculate require caloric out-put in order to achieve weight loss.
Another interesting tit bit of information was that the program is not actually tapped in a 7day cycle. Rather contestants train for 7days and the 8th day is weigh in day. On weigh in day the filming takes all day so no training can be done. In the case of Season 4 when individual teams (Blue or Red) went to elimination then that was another day of training out the window as Eliminations take all day to film.
Other than re-stating how absolutely fabulous Sharif still looks, I'd like to end this blog by highlighting that Sharif is a great, intelligent, informative and really nice guy. I really appreciated the time he gave me and I hope to be catching up with him again soon so I can fill in more of the gaps about the show.
Til then, yours in fatness
LBL
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Week 3 - Saturday 29 May
Well as week three of the social insanity draws to a close I feel, unfortunately, once again, that I have let myself down. Although some days throughout the week were a significant improvement I have had a few too many below average days. Today was yet another one of those with only a piss poor 1hour of training for the entire day.
Training Time:8.11am
Length of Training Time: 1 hour 10min 35sec
Intensity: 1-3
Calories Burnt: 714
Cal Fat: 25%
In addition to this minimal effort, temptation came a knocking yet again and I opened the door nice and wide and said a fat hello and come on in! Dinner was bought out (a regular occurrence in our household) and just to see how far I could fall we decided to go to Freestyle (the dessert restaurant) for both dinner and dessert! My main was the best of a really bad caloric bunch that being a calamari salad, stuck to water for drink but then the undoing came with the sticky date pudding. My 'sins' were halved to some extent by the G-Star who shared the decadence with me but none the less - willpower none: fat stores 1.
As the weeks go on I am questioning more and more the 10kg, 15kg loses that are pulled in the Biggest Loser House in any given week. Either my body is completely f***ed and thinks we are in famine and I need to store fat for the next one hundred years or something I am doing here just doesn't line up with Camp Biggest Loser or the Ranch - obviously more investigation necessary.
With weigh in looming a mere few hours away I am not all that hopeful of the outcome - another piss poor week will really do my head in! Need to spend my 'day off - Sunday' starting to re-group and re-think the strategy here if I have any chance in this competition at all.
Yours in fatness
LBL
Training Time:8.11am
Length of Training Time: 1 hour 10min 35sec
Intensity: 1-3
Calories Burnt: 714
Cal Fat: 25%
In addition to this minimal effort, temptation came a knocking yet again and I opened the door nice and wide and said a fat hello and come on in! Dinner was bought out (a regular occurrence in our household) and just to see how far I could fall we decided to go to Freestyle (the dessert restaurant) for both dinner and dessert! My main was the best of a really bad caloric bunch that being a calamari salad, stuck to water for drink but then the undoing came with the sticky date pudding. My 'sins' were halved to some extent by the G-Star who shared the decadence with me but none the less - willpower none: fat stores 1.
As the weeks go on I am questioning more and more the 10kg, 15kg loses that are pulled in the Biggest Loser House in any given week. Either my body is completely f***ed and thinks we are in famine and I need to store fat for the next one hundred years or something I am doing here just doesn't line up with Camp Biggest Loser or the Ranch - obviously more investigation necessary.
With weigh in looming a mere few hours away I am not all that hopeful of the outcome - another piss poor week will really do my head in! Need to spend my 'day off - Sunday' starting to re-group and re-think the strategy here if I have any chance in this competition at all.
Yours in fatness
LBL
Friday, May 28, 2010
Tits and Toes
Just a quick little 'you've got to be f***ing joking' moment from my little social experiment...when purchasing my new running shoes from the lovely Ben at Footlocker I discovered to my 'joy' that I actually have lost weight...ON MY F***ING FEET. Not exactly the result I have been striving for. In a nutshell, I have gone from a D width fitting to a B - perhaps the measly 2.6kg I have lost now means you can call me twinkle toes fatty with all the dancing I will be doing on my thin feet!
I'm sure this is some sort of cruel cosmic joke that is played on us fatties - yeh we'll let you lose weight...your feet and your boobs - really, I mean, COME ON!
So with that little 'tit' bit of weight loss for the day I am going to retire my shrinking tits and toes for the evening and think about buying a push up bra so when the time comes my chest doesn't look like that of a 12 year old school boy!
Yours in fatness
LBL
I'm sure this is some sort of cruel cosmic joke that is played on us fatties - yeh we'll let you lose weight...your feet and your boobs - really, I mean, COME ON!
So with that little 'tit' bit of weight loss for the day I am going to retire my shrinking tits and toes for the evening and think about buying a push up bra so when the time comes my chest doesn't look like that of a 12 year old school boy!
Yours in fatness
LBL
Week 3 - Friday 28 May
Suffice to say, I'm a little fatigued. There appears to be a lot of questions floating in cyberspace to the trainers from the Biggest Loser about whether or not the contestants get 'sore' with all the training. Well, now coming to the end of week three and only now getting into some sort of routine I can say with some level of authority that it's not so much sore but tired.
Given the fact that the majority of exercise being done is cardio ie treadmill, cross trainer, cardio box etc the muscles are not so much sore as fatigued...I guess this could amount to another kind of sore but is it can't sit down on the toilet to pee sore...no, not at all.
So Friday was a bit of a bust in terms of training as my body was, in real terms, screaming out for some sleep. I did train in the morning but that was really the extent of it for the day. In terms of daily stats:
Training Time:6.08am
Length of Training Time: 1 hour 30min 01sec
Intensity: 1-2
Calories Burnt: 696
Cal Fat: 38%
That was it in a nutshell...really fell down on the 4 hours training a day. It's becoming increasingly apparent that attempting to play this game sans the 'White House' or 'Ranch' is a bit more challenging than anticipated.
Also had another epiphany today, that being, shock horror, I actually don't think I'm eating enough. The most dangerous thing for me (with the completely second rate, bit part body I have) is to not eat enough in an attempt to curb the calories. My Endocrinologist - Topher has attempted to explain this to me in terms of evolutionary non progress. So here goes:
Although as a race/society humans have continued to evolve in many ways such as technologically, farming methods, food availability, ease of access to wide varieties of food types and more sedentary lives unfortunately, for many of the truly fat, our individual bodies have not been as 'successful' (if we can call it that) in the evolutionary spectrum. Put another way, we fatties would outlast all you fit and fabulous bastards in a famine! Why...we store fat and we are f***ing good at it. Our society/lives may have evolved but we haven't...if our bodies think we are starving we go into fight mode...we store fat, and we store it well! If we were Cave people, we would be the bloody Kings and Queens of the Tribes! But alas, we are not Cave people (although some could argue that a large proportion of our population do constitute such a step back in the evolutionary soup...I digress) so instead of being Kings and Queens we are taken to be fat, lazy lumps of lard...bottom dwellers really. This is why, throughout this experiment I really need to focus on making sure I actually do eat enough - enough of the 'good' foods that is!
So, that said I think I may have actually f***ed my chances of the huge weight loss week I had anticipated with being 'too clever' about reducing calories...lesson learnt.
On that note, I will call it a day and speak to you all tomorrow.
Yours in fatness
LBL
Given the fact that the majority of exercise being done is cardio ie treadmill, cross trainer, cardio box etc the muscles are not so much sore as fatigued...I guess this could amount to another kind of sore but is it can't sit down on the toilet to pee sore...no, not at all.
So Friday was a bit of a bust in terms of training as my body was, in real terms, screaming out for some sleep. I did train in the morning but that was really the extent of it for the day. In terms of daily stats:
Training Time:6.08am
Length of Training Time: 1 hour 30min 01sec
Intensity: 1-2
Calories Burnt: 696
Cal Fat: 38%
That was it in a nutshell...really fell down on the 4 hours training a day. It's becoming increasingly apparent that attempting to play this game sans the 'White House' or 'Ranch' is a bit more challenging than anticipated.
Also had another epiphany today, that being, shock horror, I actually don't think I'm eating enough. The most dangerous thing for me (with the completely second rate, bit part body I have) is to not eat enough in an attempt to curb the calories. My Endocrinologist - Topher has attempted to explain this to me in terms of evolutionary non progress. So here goes:
Although as a race/society humans have continued to evolve in many ways such as technologically, farming methods, food availability, ease of access to wide varieties of food types and more sedentary lives unfortunately, for many of the truly fat, our individual bodies have not been as 'successful' (if we can call it that) in the evolutionary spectrum. Put another way, we fatties would outlast all you fit and fabulous bastards in a famine! Why...we store fat and we are f***ing good at it. Our society/lives may have evolved but we haven't...if our bodies think we are starving we go into fight mode...we store fat, and we store it well! If we were Cave people, we would be the bloody Kings and Queens of the Tribes! But alas, we are not Cave people (although some could argue that a large proportion of our population do constitute such a step back in the evolutionary soup...I digress) so instead of being Kings and Queens we are taken to be fat, lazy lumps of lard...bottom dwellers really. This is why, throughout this experiment I really need to focus on making sure I actually do eat enough - enough of the 'good' foods that is!
So, that said I think I may have actually f***ed my chances of the huge weight loss week I had anticipated with being 'too clever' about reducing calories...lesson learnt.
On that note, I will call it a day and speak to you all tomorrow.
Yours in fatness
LBL
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Week 3 - Thursday 27 May
OK Time to dust yourself off and SWEAT!
After the lack lustre performance of the previous day this needed to be a BIG ONE! So with that in mind...I decided NOT to think. I find that this is working for me in terms of exercise. If I don't plan the day out, write it down and have time to think about it...the fat mind doesn't have a chance to harpoon my big arse and tell me to stay in bed! So with that in mind, the day kicked off at the ungodly hour of 5.00am.
In order to get the G-Star to continue with her awesome support of this insane project I have to debase myself and resort to the age old bribe of...breakfast in bed in order to get her semi-conscious and dressed for a cardio session at the gym. So a bleary eyed G-Star and a fat LBL head off to the chamber of torture and are off and walking (G-Star running) at 6.17am. I must admit in spite of my particularly awesome cardio funk mix that I have created on my I-Pod, I still find even the thought of running (even an old women shuffle) completely overwhelming. Add to that the fact that the shoes I bought are actually cross-trainers and rather cumbersome I am sure this is adding to my mental barrier. That said, onto the treadmill I went and pulled off an average performance:
Training Time:6.17am
Length of Training Time: 35min
Intensity: 1-2
Calories Burnt: 339
Cal Fat: 30%
From here, once again with very little thought, I went straight into a PT session with Barstardo:
Training Time:7.00am
Length of Training Time: 31min 58sec
Intensity: 1-3
Calories Burnt: 307
Cal Fat: 26%
Once again with absolutely no thought and a huge cup of coffee (mmm nector of the gods) headed straight to the pool for a cardio recovery:
Training Time:8.20am
Length of Training Time: 45min 03sec
Intensity: 1-2
Calories Burnt: 698
Cal Fat: 11%
Then it was straight out the pool into walking gear and on the road for another cardio session of walking:
Training Time:9.31am
Length of Training Time: 53min 33sec
Intensity: 1-2
Calories Burnt: 504
Cal Fat: 30%
By the time I arrived home and had something to eat it was time for a Nana nap. Once happily ensconced in the cloud that is my bed I finally had time to think...and what did I think...I am absolutely buggered...I can't do any more today. Oh but how wrong I was...
The Bastardo (he really is a wonderful trainer) as previously mentioned has taken to doing a cardio work out at the same time in the afternoons that I head off to the gym - this may be the result of him saying 'meet me here for a cardio session at 4pm' it may not?
Anyhoo, it would seem that the B-Man (who has his own ideas about how to strip fat off this little fat duck) and the Bastardo have gotten their heads together and decided...IT"S TIME I STARTED TO RUN. Truly there has never been a more frightening sentence uttered. Even the thought of running breaks me in to a cold, clammy sweat with the fat mind screaming 'kill me now for even you cannot be this cruel'. And cruel it was - 30minutes of pure torture:
Training Time:4.10pm
Length of Training Time: 38min 29sec
Intensity: 1-3
Calories Burnt: 412
Cal Fat: 22%
Gasping for breath, slipping in pools (yes POOLS) of my own sweat, unable to communicate except through what could be possibly classified as obscene gestures and with a somewhat disconcerting sense of being dead and watching this tragic comedy unravel whilst floating on my saintly cloud eating a packet of Tim-Tams, I hobbled off the treadmill for the final time today.
What became abundantly clear during this torture was I need some running shoes...yes a fat person actually requiring running shoes. So off to the shops we go...limping due to the inordinate amount of pain in my shins to purchase my first pair of running shoes in many a year!
Cost of Brooks Running Shoes: $219.00
Cost of imported from the US cushion socks $89.00 (for three pair)
Home to a wonderful, low calorie dinner cooked by the wonderful Maddie and then off to bed. All in all a good day!
Yours in fatness
LBL
After the lack lustre performance of the previous day this needed to be a BIG ONE! So with that in mind...I decided NOT to think. I find that this is working for me in terms of exercise. If I don't plan the day out, write it down and have time to think about it...the fat mind doesn't have a chance to harpoon my big arse and tell me to stay in bed! So with that in mind, the day kicked off at the ungodly hour of 5.00am.
In order to get the G-Star to continue with her awesome support of this insane project I have to debase myself and resort to the age old bribe of...breakfast in bed in order to get her semi-conscious and dressed for a cardio session at the gym. So a bleary eyed G-Star and a fat LBL head off to the chamber of torture and are off and walking (G-Star running) at 6.17am. I must admit in spite of my particularly awesome cardio funk mix that I have created on my I-Pod, I still find even the thought of running (even an old women shuffle) completely overwhelming. Add to that the fact that the shoes I bought are actually cross-trainers and rather cumbersome I am sure this is adding to my mental barrier. That said, onto the treadmill I went and pulled off an average performance:
Training Time:6.17am
Length of Training Time: 35min
Intensity: 1-2
Calories Burnt: 339
Cal Fat: 30%
From here, once again with very little thought, I went straight into a PT session with Barstardo:
Training Time:7.00am
Length of Training Time: 31min 58sec
Intensity: 1-3
Calories Burnt: 307
Cal Fat: 26%
Once again with absolutely no thought and a huge cup of coffee (mmm nector of the gods) headed straight to the pool for a cardio recovery:
Training Time:8.20am
Length of Training Time: 45min 03sec
Intensity: 1-2
Calories Burnt: 698
Cal Fat: 11%
Then it was straight out the pool into walking gear and on the road for another cardio session of walking:
Training Time:9.31am
Length of Training Time: 53min 33sec
Intensity: 1-2
Calories Burnt: 504
Cal Fat: 30%
By the time I arrived home and had something to eat it was time for a Nana nap. Once happily ensconced in the cloud that is my bed I finally had time to think...and what did I think...I am absolutely buggered...I can't do any more today. Oh but how wrong I was...
The Bastardo (he really is a wonderful trainer) as previously mentioned has taken to doing a cardio work out at the same time in the afternoons that I head off to the gym - this may be the result of him saying 'meet me here for a cardio session at 4pm' it may not?
Anyhoo, it would seem that the B-Man (who has his own ideas about how to strip fat off this little fat duck) and the Bastardo have gotten their heads together and decided...IT"S TIME I STARTED TO RUN. Truly there has never been a more frightening sentence uttered. Even the thought of running breaks me in to a cold, clammy sweat with the fat mind screaming 'kill me now for even you cannot be this cruel'. And cruel it was - 30minutes of pure torture:
Training Time:4.10pm
Length of Training Time: 38min 29sec
Intensity: 1-3
Calories Burnt: 412
Cal Fat: 22%
Gasping for breath, slipping in pools (yes POOLS) of my own sweat, unable to communicate except through what could be possibly classified as obscene gestures and with a somewhat disconcerting sense of being dead and watching this tragic comedy unravel whilst floating on my saintly cloud eating a packet of Tim-Tams, I hobbled off the treadmill for the final time today.
What became abundantly clear during this torture was I need some running shoes...yes a fat person actually requiring running shoes. So off to the shops we go...limping due to the inordinate amount of pain in my shins to purchase my first pair of running shoes in many a year!
Cost of Brooks Running Shoes: $219.00
Cost of imported from the US cushion socks $89.00 (for three pair)
Home to a wonderful, low calorie dinner cooked by the wonderful Maddie and then off to bed. All in all a good day!
Yours in fatness
LBL
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Week 3 - Wednesday 26 May
It would appear that Wednesday has officially become my bewitching day! I seem to have a crisis of fat on Wednesday and everything slides into oblivion. Well oblivion on the Biggest Loser scale!
Wednesday was a really lack lustre day as far as exercise goes and the night ended with a new version of Kermit's all time classic - "It's not easy being green"...my version..."It's easier being fat!" - so having got into 'it' with the G-Star and her very limited levels of compassion for my crises of fat ('Stop being such a Victim') - I thought it would be worthwhile attempting to express what it is I really mean by saying/singing "It's easy being fat."
Fat is a state of mind as well as a state of body!
Let's be honest...being fat is, for the most part, comfortable. You don't have to think about what you put in your mouth (by way of food - you filthy minded bloggers), you don't need to look at 'creative' ways to expend energy and really until your body starts to revolt (Type 2 Diabetes etc) you really don't have to give a rats about how it is adversely affecting your health (because really, as far as you're concerned - you're in great health). Eating is a fun, comforting, social activity which makes you feel good, happy, euphoric some might say. Exercise is the enemy - pain, sweat, pain, pain and pain. In your own mind you're actually NOT THAT FAT. You can still by all the unattractive clothes you want at the fat people's section of Myer...I'm sure it's only when you wake up and discover yourself wearing a Muu-Muu that you think...maybe I should get this in black...it's probably more slimming. OK admittedly you may have sex with the lights out and the shades drawn so the room is pitch black but come on...that's romantic!
On the other had the effort required to not be fat is just a little too much really. Counting calories, doing exercise, depriving yourself of all the yummy foods you so crave...as I said before and you can print this and stick it up on your walls as a quote from your Fatness Guru
"Fat is a state of mind as well as a state of body!"
What I'm finding interesting about this competition is that the further I get into it (OK so it's only week three but work with me here) the more the fat mind comes into play. I'm discovering it's both a blessing and a curse. Some days...like Wednesday, it's a curse...it tells you I can't, I'm sore, I'm tired, I'm in pain...these are the down days and the only thing that I seem to be able to do 'right' on these days in not to gorge myself senseless on Tim-Tams and Kentucky Fried Chicken (damn you Colonel Sanders and your 11 herbs and spices....damn you!) On these days you have to, somehow try not to lose fat (oops sorry I mean face) and tell yourself that like all challenges in life - this too will pass. Even as I'm typing it I register what a load of crap this sounds like! Yes, the Tim-Tams will pass your lips (the entire packet) and they will then pass into more fat on your hips (or wherever else that fat seems to congregate) so in that sense yes this too will pass. All I can tell you and myself is that one crap day does not a Biggest Loser make! So somehow I will need to dust myself off, throw out those Tim-Tams and find my way back to the gym tomorrow.
The days minimal efforts:
Training Time:5.59am
Length of Training Time: 1 hour 49sec
Intensity: 1-2
Calories Burnt: 480
Cal Fat: 37%
Training Time:7.54am
Length of Training Time: 48min 20sec
Intensity: 1-3
Calories Burnt: 452
Cal Fat: 28%
At this point, a big weight loss week is seeming to me at least like a major impossibility!
Yours in fatness
LBL
Wednesday was a really lack lustre day as far as exercise goes and the night ended with a new version of Kermit's all time classic - "It's not easy being green"...my version..."It's easier being fat!" - so having got into 'it' with the G-Star and her very limited levels of compassion for my crises of fat ('Stop being such a Victim') - I thought it would be worthwhile attempting to express what it is I really mean by saying/singing "It's easy being fat."
Fat is a state of mind as well as a state of body!
Let's be honest...being fat is, for the most part, comfortable. You don't have to think about what you put in your mouth (by way of food - you filthy minded bloggers), you don't need to look at 'creative' ways to expend energy and really until your body starts to revolt (Type 2 Diabetes etc) you really don't have to give a rats about how it is adversely affecting your health (because really, as far as you're concerned - you're in great health). Eating is a fun, comforting, social activity which makes you feel good, happy, euphoric some might say. Exercise is the enemy - pain, sweat, pain, pain and pain. In your own mind you're actually NOT THAT FAT. You can still by all the unattractive clothes you want at the fat people's section of Myer...I'm sure it's only when you wake up and discover yourself wearing a Muu-Muu that you think...maybe I should get this in black...it's probably more slimming. OK admittedly you may have sex with the lights out and the shades drawn so the room is pitch black but come on...that's romantic!
On the other had the effort required to not be fat is just a little too much really. Counting calories, doing exercise, depriving yourself of all the yummy foods you so crave...as I said before and you can print this and stick it up on your walls as a quote from your Fatness Guru
"Fat is a state of mind as well as a state of body!"
What I'm finding interesting about this competition is that the further I get into it (OK so it's only week three but work with me here) the more the fat mind comes into play. I'm discovering it's both a blessing and a curse. Some days...like Wednesday, it's a curse...it tells you I can't, I'm sore, I'm tired, I'm in pain...these are the down days and the only thing that I seem to be able to do 'right' on these days in not to gorge myself senseless on Tim-Tams and Kentucky Fried Chicken (damn you Colonel Sanders and your 11 herbs and spices....damn you!) On these days you have to, somehow try not to lose fat (oops sorry I mean face) and tell yourself that like all challenges in life - this too will pass. Even as I'm typing it I register what a load of crap this sounds like! Yes, the Tim-Tams will pass your lips (the entire packet) and they will then pass into more fat on your hips (or wherever else that fat seems to congregate) so in that sense yes this too will pass. All I can tell you and myself is that one crap day does not a Biggest Loser make! So somehow I will need to dust myself off, throw out those Tim-Tams and find my way back to the gym tomorrow.
The days minimal efforts:
Training Time:5.59am
Length of Training Time: 1 hour 49sec
Intensity: 1-2
Calories Burnt: 480
Cal Fat: 37%
Training Time:7.54am
Length of Training Time: 48min 20sec
Intensity: 1-3
Calories Burnt: 452
Cal Fat: 28%
At this point, a big weight loss week is seeming to me at least like a major impossibility!
Yours in fatness
LBL
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Week 3 - Tuesday 25 May
There is an old saying that goes something like this:
The definition of insanity: Doing what you have always done and expecting a different outcome.
I wonder what it is in the human condition that makes us think that if we persist with failure then somehow it will turn in to success?
After an adult lifetime of being fat the only way for me to change that has been to 'enter the biggest loser competition' and have a butt load of people (those I love and those I hardly know) get on board and support and encourage and kick my sizable arse...failure is NOT an option - not this time. But let's talk about that...failure not being an option is about not letting others who are investing in me down but what about me? I think my biggest fear in this process is not letting others down but a real fear of mediocrity...what if I only lose a few grams like last week in spite of the monumental efforts of the last two days (yes I realise two days is a piss in the ocean when looking at 16 weeks but work with me here!) Does not losing masses of weight each week like they do in the house amount to failure? Or worse still does it actually mean I am merely mediocre at this weight loss game?
The mind, I am starting to realise is a far more powerful machine than the body. What your mind tells you IS your reality in spite of what the body is able...so is this actually a battle of the bulge or a war of the mind? The crap that is associated with the Biggest Loser competition (the in house version) often shits me to tears with all their 'journeys' and tears and tantrums and the personal trainers suddenly becoming grief, loss and all round life counsellors. Can't say I've broken down in tears, can't say I've questioned why, how, when I got fat (simple answer ate the wrong foods, ate too much of them and did NO exercise!). I haven't been unloved, I'm not unattractive, I have a great sex life so in my mind my reality is well, pretty damn good. So that begs the question 'why am I doing this'...simple answer...I'm simply not happy with me.
As previously mentioned in prior blogs I have always been a bit of an overachiever so why has this been the major downfall to my otherwise quite comfy existence? I think there you have it people...the word existence. When you are fat (overweight, obese) life is a series of compromises, of, you guessed it, mediocrity and if there is one thing I can't abide it's mediocrity. I think that's why the actual 'show' so frustrates and infuriates me. Weight loss has been packaged, prettied and sold at a level of mediocrity that insults and sets people up for failure. Is it that only people who are ritually humiliated on national television for up to three months have won the right to rapid weight loss? How many of the contestants that have been past competitors on the show have actually continued their 'journeys' and maintained their weight loss at the levels espoused by the production company. OK so they trot out the regulars for the finales and the master classes but really that is only a hand full of all the contestants they have 'helped' throughout the past however many seasons.
The B-Man made an interesting observation the other day and it was along these lines...a commitment to a healthy weight is a life long one. Mentally that's a really tough thing for a fat person to get their head around.
Anyway, back to the day at hand. Another cracker of a day (in spite my mind's misgivings at certain times - oh god I want cake, I reeeeealllyy need chocolate and hot chips, I'm NOT going to go back to the gym) in spite of these little arguments with myself I pulled it out of the bag again.
Cardio 1 hour
PT 1hour
Cardio 1 hour
Cardion Swim 1 hour
Even more impressive was the fact that Bastardo took it upon himself to do his own training session at the gym in the afternoon and low and behold the treadmill next to mine just happened to be free....lucky, lucky me. So not only did I train with him in the morning, I also had a buddy training session with him in the afternoon - Rod this IS NOT going to become a regular thing - I need my alone time.
All up, even in spite of Sushi for lunch had a top day and am really confident that this week I will finally pull a big number...here's hoping!
Yours in fatness
LBL
The definition of insanity: Doing what you have always done and expecting a different outcome.
I wonder what it is in the human condition that makes us think that if we persist with failure then somehow it will turn in to success?
After an adult lifetime of being fat the only way for me to change that has been to 'enter the biggest loser competition' and have a butt load of people (those I love and those I hardly know) get on board and support and encourage and kick my sizable arse...failure is NOT an option - not this time. But let's talk about that...failure not being an option is about not letting others who are investing in me down but what about me? I think my biggest fear in this process is not letting others down but a real fear of mediocrity...what if I only lose a few grams like last week in spite of the monumental efforts of the last two days (yes I realise two days is a piss in the ocean when looking at 16 weeks but work with me here!) Does not losing masses of weight each week like they do in the house amount to failure? Or worse still does it actually mean I am merely mediocre at this weight loss game?
The mind, I am starting to realise is a far more powerful machine than the body. What your mind tells you IS your reality in spite of what the body is able...so is this actually a battle of the bulge or a war of the mind? The crap that is associated with the Biggest Loser competition (the in house version) often shits me to tears with all their 'journeys' and tears and tantrums and the personal trainers suddenly becoming grief, loss and all round life counsellors. Can't say I've broken down in tears, can't say I've questioned why, how, when I got fat (simple answer ate the wrong foods, ate too much of them and did NO exercise!). I haven't been unloved, I'm not unattractive, I have a great sex life so in my mind my reality is well, pretty damn good. So that begs the question 'why am I doing this'...simple answer...I'm simply not happy with me.
As previously mentioned in prior blogs I have always been a bit of an overachiever so why has this been the major downfall to my otherwise quite comfy existence? I think there you have it people...the word existence. When you are fat (overweight, obese) life is a series of compromises, of, you guessed it, mediocrity and if there is one thing I can't abide it's mediocrity. I think that's why the actual 'show' so frustrates and infuriates me. Weight loss has been packaged, prettied and sold at a level of mediocrity that insults and sets people up for failure. Is it that only people who are ritually humiliated on national television for up to three months have won the right to rapid weight loss? How many of the contestants that have been past competitors on the show have actually continued their 'journeys' and maintained their weight loss at the levels espoused by the production company. OK so they trot out the regulars for the finales and the master classes but really that is only a hand full of all the contestants they have 'helped' throughout the past however many seasons.
The B-Man made an interesting observation the other day and it was along these lines...a commitment to a healthy weight is a life long one. Mentally that's a really tough thing for a fat person to get their head around.
Anyway, back to the day at hand. Another cracker of a day (in spite my mind's misgivings at certain times - oh god I want cake, I reeeeealllyy need chocolate and hot chips, I'm NOT going to go back to the gym) in spite of these little arguments with myself I pulled it out of the bag again.
Cardio 1 hour
PT 1hour
Cardio 1 hour
Cardion Swim 1 hour
Even more impressive was the fact that Bastardo took it upon himself to do his own training session at the gym in the afternoon and low and behold the treadmill next to mine just happened to be free....lucky, lucky me. So not only did I train with him in the morning, I also had a buddy training session with him in the afternoon - Rod this IS NOT going to become a regular thing - I need my alone time.
All up, even in spite of Sushi for lunch had a top day and am really confident that this week I will finally pull a big number...here's hoping!
Yours in fatness
LBL
Monday, May 24, 2010
Week 3 - Monday 24 May
If I could feel any part of my body at the moment I'm sure it would register that I am typing my blog entry for the day however, movement, feeling and emotions were sucked out of me today when I FINALLY ACHIEVED THE HOLY GRAIL...4 hours of exercise in one day! And not just any four hours of exercise...bloody hard, fat burning, get the crap off my body you blubbing mess training with a grand total of energy expenditure of 2492 calories. OK, so I can barely move and my brain isn't functioning at capacity but I bloody did it! The week has kicked off with a bang now it has to not peter out with a whimper.
The goal for this week given the absolutely piss poor returns from last week is 7kg to actually get myself competing in this bloody game.
Mentally it's a tough call - up at 5am to the gym by 6am - cardio and PT til 8am then off to the pool. Swim from 9.15am to 10.15am and then attempt to get all the normal chores done for the day - whilst ensuring that food intake and ingredients for dinner are all sorted. Back to the gym at 4pm for another cardio session, drop kids where they need to be and make dinner - by comparison I think actually being 'in' the house sounds like bliss!
Anyway, have overcome one demon...the four hour train. Now we need to up the anti even more. Tomorrow - 5 hours in total and at this level for the rest of the week!
Am also currently attempting to get a full on website together for this little experiment, organise all the relevant paraphernalia for the shrine (read as ritual humiliation on a minute by minute basis) at the gym as well as attempt to entertain all with this insanity on the blog...it's time to defy gravity!
Am also working on a workout play list for everyone to consider (hopefully will be able to have this up on the website) as well as recipes that seem to be working for me.
Ran into the B-Man this afternoon and had to embarrassingly tell him about the pitiful 200g loss for week 2...B-Man is determined to see me running (constantly) on the treadmill before the week is out!
Other than that the day has come and gone in a blur of sweat, fat wobbling and almost tears and bed is looking extremely inviting. Hopefully will be more cognisant and humorous for tomorrow's efforts but until then...
Yours in fatness
LBL
The goal for this week given the absolutely piss poor returns from last week is 7kg to actually get myself competing in this bloody game.
Mentally it's a tough call - up at 5am to the gym by 6am - cardio and PT til 8am then off to the pool. Swim from 9.15am to 10.15am and then attempt to get all the normal chores done for the day - whilst ensuring that food intake and ingredients for dinner are all sorted. Back to the gym at 4pm for another cardio session, drop kids where they need to be and make dinner - by comparison I think actually being 'in' the house sounds like bliss!
Anyway, have overcome one demon...the four hour train. Now we need to up the anti even more. Tomorrow - 5 hours in total and at this level for the rest of the week!
Am also currently attempting to get a full on website together for this little experiment, organise all the relevant paraphernalia for the shrine (read as ritual humiliation on a minute by minute basis) at the gym as well as attempt to entertain all with this insanity on the blog...it's time to defy gravity!
Am also working on a workout play list for everyone to consider (hopefully will be able to have this up on the website) as well as recipes that seem to be working for me.
Ran into the B-Man this afternoon and had to embarrassingly tell him about the pitiful 200g loss for week 2...B-Man is determined to see me running (constantly) on the treadmill before the week is out!
Other than that the day has come and gone in a blur of sweat, fat wobbling and almost tears and bed is looking extremely inviting. Hopefully will be more cognisant and humorous for tomorrow's efforts but until then...
Yours in fatness
LBL
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Sunday 23 May - Weigh In
Well suffice to say as predicted the week ended on a very, very, very LOW note. As you can see from the charts (below) and as predicted my sizable arse would have been up for elimination AGAIN with a pathetic 0.2kg (yes you read that right 200g) weight loss for the week. Once again this puts me a miserable and very last LAST in the Australian competition and maintaining fifth (5th) last in the US comp.
AUS Comp
US Comp
Well HOW unexpected was that? As Gwen Stefani so eloquently put it "THIS SHIT IS BANANAS"
Well not bananas actually just reaping what I had put in to the week really. My efforts have been pitiful to say the least and on top of that I let myself go food wise - portion sizes too big when I did eat and not eating enough of the 'good stuff' in between.
Major objective for the coming week - week 3 - hit 4 hours training per day and start the food diary - need to work on a deficit (in terms of caloric intake/output).
The day and week has been a complete bust so there really isn't much point to rambling on any more...time to regroup.
Yours in fatness (and disappointment)
LBL
AUS Comp
US Comp
Well HOW unexpected was that? As Gwen Stefani so eloquently put it "THIS SHIT IS BANANAS"
Well not bananas actually just reaping what I had put in to the week really. My efforts have been pitiful to say the least and on top of that I let myself go food wise - portion sizes too big when I did eat and not eating enough of the 'good stuff' in between.
Major objective for the coming week - week 3 - hit 4 hours training per day and start the food diary - need to work on a deficit (in terms of caloric intake/output).
The day and week has been a complete bust so there really isn't much point to rambling on any more...time to regroup.
Yours in fatness (and disappointment)
LBL
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Week 2 - 22 May
So we are almost through week 2 in the 'Biggest Loser House' and to be brutally honest - it was an absolute cluster f**k of a week. Between eating out too much and ditching the exercise I think we can safely say this week is going to be an unmitigated disaster in term of weight loss (if any).
Training today has consisted of solely a PT (boxing) session with Bastardo and a brief treadmill walk. All up a measly 1hour 26sec of exercise. If I was really 'in' the house I would no doubt be tossed out on my still sizable arse this week for absolute lack of performance.
The lack lustre training I completed for the day amounted to the following:
Training Time:10.20am
Length of Training Time: 1 hour 26sec
Intensity: 1-3
Calories Burnt: 588
Cal Fat: 27%
Once again I must reiterate that this week has been an
ABSOLUTE CLUSTER F**K!
So what was it? A give a shit attitude? An I can't do this week? An I don't wanna do this week? An I'm a fat lazy cow and am happy with that week? What the F**K was it? Week 2 and I'm over this? I want to go home? I'm turning into some sappy, little cry baby that wants her chocolate, chips and snuggy?
There are absolutely no excuses for this week...I've let myself down (not to mention everyone else who is supporting me in this experiment!) and I feel like SHIT! Reality check, there is no Jillian or Bob, no Michelle or Shannon dropping in to kick my arse with a film crew in tow...there is only me and ME is the only one who can fix this.
So let's just say I am NOT overly excited about weigh in day tomorrow and I recognise that I really have to do a re-group if I am to actually deliver to myself, my supporters and my readers the results that have come to be expected from the Biggest Loser. What that looks and feels like I am currently at an absolute loss as to tell...but rest assured I will work it out.
Yours in fatness
LBL
Training today has consisted of solely a PT (boxing) session with Bastardo and a brief treadmill walk. All up a measly 1hour 26sec of exercise. If I was really 'in' the house I would no doubt be tossed out on my still sizable arse this week for absolute lack of performance.
The lack lustre training I completed for the day amounted to the following:
Training Time:10.20am
Length of Training Time: 1 hour 26sec
Intensity: 1-3
Calories Burnt: 588
Cal Fat: 27%
Once again I must reiterate that this week has been an
ABSOLUTE CLUSTER F**K!
So what was it? A give a shit attitude? An I can't do this week? An I don't wanna do this week? An I'm a fat lazy cow and am happy with that week? What the F**K was it? Week 2 and I'm over this? I want to go home? I'm turning into some sappy, little cry baby that wants her chocolate, chips and snuggy?
There are absolutely no excuses for this week...I've let myself down (not to mention everyone else who is supporting me in this experiment!) and I feel like SHIT! Reality check, there is no Jillian or Bob, no Michelle or Shannon dropping in to kick my arse with a film crew in tow...there is only me and ME is the only one who can fix this.
So let's just say I am NOT overly excited about weigh in day tomorrow and I recognise that I really have to do a re-group if I am to actually deliver to myself, my supporters and my readers the results that have come to be expected from the Biggest Loser. What that looks and feels like I am currently at an absolute loss as to tell...but rest assured I will work it out.
Yours in fatness
LBL
Friday, May 21, 2010
Week 2 - Friday 21 May
Once again the day started well. The G-Star was free and all mine and a full day's training was planned out (at least in my head). I had another thing to be excited about as well. Having determined to do some investigative research on the Biggest Loser Lived Experience I was lucky enough to be able to contact and arrange a meeting with Shairf Deen, 2009 Season Finalist (and personally my favourite and a definite should have won!). So things are starting to come together - my evil (insane) little plan.
With that in mind I set off to the gym for a session with Barstardo at 8.00am. Must admit, joint training with the G-Star does has a sort of pleasant insanity to it - however just to let you know pain shared is not pained halved - it's f***ing pain trebled.
The morning session consisted of upper body work (biceps and triceps), squats, step ups, stationary cycle, treadmill and a few other bits and pieces. The results as follows:
Training Time:7.57am
Length of Training Time: 1 hour 1minutes
Intensity: 1-2
Calories Burnt: 563
Cal Fat: 31%
With training down the plan was to hook up with Sharif, pick his brain and then head off to the pool and back up with some more cardio...well lets just say I got as far as picking Sharif's brain!
My meeting with Sharif deserves a completely stand alone entry - lots to tell however need to finish up yet another piss poor day in week two.
Week two seems to have been a real stumbling block for me. Although I trained everyday except for the miserable Monday it certainly wasn't at the level needed to be a Biggest Loser 'winner' or even competitor for that matter. The mind really wreaked havoc with me this week...was in a bad, bad place...was constantly putting up road blocks and too tireds and too sore and too, too, too...If I am really going to be a competitor in this competition I need to get in a better head space and try to figure out what the hell the problem is!
To cap of what was a particularly lack lustre day, I succumbed to temptation...family dinner out saw me over eat on a grand scale with a very large portion of grilled trout (probably three to four times the standard portion size), a green salad with aioli and hot chips on top of this I then went on to have dessert by way of apple pie (made with puff pastry) and vanilla bean ice cream - well done LBL well done (for my readers I am being incredibly sarcastic and self deprecating at the moment).
Yours in fatness
LBL
With that in mind I set off to the gym for a session with Barstardo at 8.00am. Must admit, joint training with the G-Star does has a sort of pleasant insanity to it - however just to let you know pain shared is not pained halved - it's f***ing pain trebled.
The morning session consisted of upper body work (biceps and triceps), squats, step ups, stationary cycle, treadmill and a few other bits and pieces. The results as follows:
Training Time:7.57am
Length of Training Time: 1 hour 1minutes
Intensity: 1-2
Calories Burnt: 563
Cal Fat: 31%
With training down the plan was to hook up with Sharif, pick his brain and then head off to the pool and back up with some more cardio...well lets just say I got as far as picking Sharif's brain!
My meeting with Sharif deserves a completely stand alone entry - lots to tell however need to finish up yet another piss poor day in week two.
Week two seems to have been a real stumbling block for me. Although I trained everyday except for the miserable Monday it certainly wasn't at the level needed to be a Biggest Loser 'winner' or even competitor for that matter. The mind really wreaked havoc with me this week...was in a bad, bad place...was constantly putting up road blocks and too tireds and too sore and too, too, too...If I am really going to be a competitor in this competition I need to get in a better head space and try to figure out what the hell the problem is!
To cap of what was a particularly lack lustre day, I succumbed to temptation...family dinner out saw me over eat on a grand scale with a very large portion of grilled trout (probably three to four times the standard portion size), a green salad with aioli and hot chips on top of this I then went on to have dessert by way of apple pie (made with puff pastry) and vanilla bean ice cream - well done LBL well done (for my readers I am being incredibly sarcastic and self deprecating at the moment).
Yours in fatness
LBL
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Week 2 - Thursday 20 May
Well once again today has been a bit of a write off! Started with the best of intentions - aiming for that all illusive 4 hours exercise today and kicked off with a good PT session with the Hellfire Mistress Rodrigo (who also now has the moniker Bastardo).
Session started at 8.00am with a cardio warm up. Am trying to do some interval training on the treadmill - 30 sec run @ 8km/h alternating with a 1 min walk @ 5km/h for 15 mins. Once again struggle with the running part, not so much joints as I explained to Bastardo more along the shins really. I suppose when your pounding down 109.6kg on two size 9 feet there is bound to be some discomfort?
PT session consisted of a mixture of upper body and core work and some cardio thrown in just for his perverse pleasure I'm sure! Core work is interesting giving my fat little stomach has been cut in two however actually felt like I had achieved a new level today with balancing on a half ball whilst bouncing a 2kg medicine ball to Bastardo.
Also think I scared the living proverbial out of one of the fit and fabulous who was having some trouble lifting the second of her 20kg barbell weights off the machine. With an excited girly shriek I waddled across the floor (actually just a diversion to gasp some breath back in to my fat little lungs) and informed she of the 12pack that 'fat person coming to assistance!' - she looked a little scared I think, that much blubber coming towards her at a snails pace would be enough to terrify even the hardest hardcore chub chaser!
Pulling up from training, I had to get some much needed work done for a very favourite client and come up with some paraphernalia for my shrine that the B-Man and JaqStar are erecting at the gym for further humiliation purposes.
In addition to that, I have tracked down a real life Biggest Loser competitor from the 2009 series that is willing to have a chat to discuss the REAL in-house experience. Hopefully this will give me some much needed clarity around a 'typical day' in the Biggest Loser House and I can start to adjust the experiment accordingly.
Unfortunately, other than an afternoon Nana Nap that was pretty much my entire lack lustre day. So much for the final achievement of the 4 hour training day!
Eating seems to be pretty good...am valiantly attempting to figure out how to accurately use the Biggest Loser Club diary etc and once I have that sorted I should be able to start bringing in the calorie/eating side of the experiment for your reading amusement.
Only thing left for a really disappointing day is to give you the details of the training session:
Training Time:7.59am
Length of Training Time: 1 hour 3minutes
Intensity: 1-2
Calories Burnt: 597
Cal Fat: 29%
Yours in fatness
LBL
Session started at 8.00am with a cardio warm up. Am trying to do some interval training on the treadmill - 30 sec run @ 8km/h alternating with a 1 min walk @ 5km/h for 15 mins. Once again struggle with the running part, not so much joints as I explained to Bastardo more along the shins really. I suppose when your pounding down 109.6kg on two size 9 feet there is bound to be some discomfort?
PT session consisted of a mixture of upper body and core work and some cardio thrown in just for his perverse pleasure I'm sure! Core work is interesting giving my fat little stomach has been cut in two however actually felt like I had achieved a new level today with balancing on a half ball whilst bouncing a 2kg medicine ball to Bastardo.
Also think I scared the living proverbial out of one of the fit and fabulous who was having some trouble lifting the second of her 20kg barbell weights off the machine. With an excited girly shriek I waddled across the floor (actually just a diversion to gasp some breath back in to my fat little lungs) and informed she of the 12pack that 'fat person coming to assistance!' - she looked a little scared I think, that much blubber coming towards her at a snails pace would be enough to terrify even the hardest hardcore chub chaser!
Pulling up from training, I had to get some much needed work done for a very favourite client and come up with some paraphernalia for my shrine that the B-Man and JaqStar are erecting at the gym for further humiliation purposes.
In addition to that, I have tracked down a real life Biggest Loser competitor from the 2009 series that is willing to have a chat to discuss the REAL in-house experience. Hopefully this will give me some much needed clarity around a 'typical day' in the Biggest Loser House and I can start to adjust the experiment accordingly.
Unfortunately, other than an afternoon Nana Nap that was pretty much my entire lack lustre day. So much for the final achievement of the 4 hour training day!
Eating seems to be pretty good...am valiantly attempting to figure out how to accurately use the Biggest Loser Club diary etc and once I have that sorted I should be able to start bringing in the calorie/eating side of the experiment for your reading amusement.
Only thing left for a really disappointing day is to give you the details of the training session:
Training Time:7.59am
Length of Training Time: 1 hour 3minutes
Intensity: 1-2
Calories Burnt: 597
Cal Fat: 29%
Yours in fatness
LBL
Week 2 - Wednesday 19 May
At the moment I seem to only be able to get some sort of exercise rhythm in the morning...can't seem to put my finger on what that's about. Wednesday started with a bang and he determination to finally hit the 4hour exercise mark for the first time! Kicked off with a joint PT session with the G-Star (and the ever faithful Rodrigo Hellfire Mistress of Darkness) which was, to say the least, GRUELLING! He's upped the anti big time on the cardio and is making uncoordinated fat person run - very uncool!
The morning's workout delivered the following results (according to the trusty Polar Heart Rate monitor):
Training Time:8.12am
Length of Training Time: 59minutes 23sec
Intensity: 1-3
Calories Burnt: 597
Cal Fat: 25%
Not a bad start... so following the PT session the illustrious G-Star and I back up with a cardio session in the pool.
There has been a lot of bad press about swimming as a form of exercise (when compared to treadmill, bikes etc). Can't say I buy into the fit and fabulous position of this for a number of reasons...
When your fat, as previously mentioned numerous times, exercise in the majority of traditional way, shapes and forms not only intimidate but they actually scare the living beejesus out of you for a whole raft of reasons. Humiliating oneself in front of the fit and fabulous really is only the beginning. The thought of pain, no matter what intensity scares most fatties witless. Combine this with the mental, physical and emotional barriers...fear of failure, fear of hurting yourself, fear of embarrassing yourself, fear of looking like a fat over ripe tomato with arms and legs, fear of letting yourself down, fear of letting someone else down...fear, fear, fear...the result? Complete and utter inaction, food - to comfort those feelings of terror and low and behold...your in the fat people's section of Myer unable to find any Big is Beautiful clothing (if that's what you can call it cause it sure as hell isn't fashion) to fit you!
This is where I firmly believe swimming can become a 'buoy' so to speak...alright so you have to once again humiliate yourself and get a special order of swimwear in at the local Swimeroo (shock horror they don't actually stock Speedos in size 22/24) and yes being seen in public in a swim suit (no even black is not slimming in a one-piece) does take the dignity into the sewer and beyond but there is a certain freedom, weightlessness and sense of achievement that comes from thrashing up and down that lane and getting your heart rate up!
So backing up for a swim with the G-Star was actually not a bad thing. Water was freezing (heated pool my arse) but once in and moving things always seem to look better...time to think...time to just be
The result of this cardio effort:
Training Time:9.43am
Length of Training Time: 55minutes 43sec
Intensity: 1-2
Calories Burnt: 874
Cal Fat: 11%
Not a bad morning's effort even if I do say so myself! Seemingly on track for my first 4 hour day!
That's when things kinda started going a little off track... G-Star was having a BIO Age test done at 1pm so I thought it would be good to back up and do some more cardio at the gym while she was getting the test done. Session was shorter than I wanted (taking the Maddie to lunch so had to be on time!) and did burn some calories (some is always better than none) but that's where the day's effort stopped. I had grand plans to take in a Yoga class or do some more time on the treadmill but after a nice lunch, feeling a little sleepy, a little sore really not that much desire to do any more for the day. I am starting to see this as a bit of a PM curse - let's call it my bewitching hours (after 12.00noon I turn into a bigger fat pumpkin!).
Having said that, my short sharp cardio session resulted in:
Training Time:12.47pm
Length of Training Time: 33minutes
Intensity: 2-3
Calories Burnt: 327
Cal Fat: 23%
In total my Wednesday efforts resulted in:
TOTAL Training Time: 2hours 28min 6sec
TOTAl Training Deficit for the day: 1hour 32min (give or take).
So, I'm thinking I need to find some inspiration and knowledge and the best place to get that is from someone who has lived the experience, Biggest Loser Style. Hence, my quest for knowledge begins...
Yours in fatness
LBL
The morning's workout delivered the following results (according to the trusty Polar Heart Rate monitor):
Training Time:8.12am
Length of Training Time: 59minutes 23sec
Intensity: 1-3
Calories Burnt: 597
Cal Fat: 25%
Not a bad start... so following the PT session the illustrious G-Star and I back up with a cardio session in the pool.
There has been a lot of bad press about swimming as a form of exercise (when compared to treadmill, bikes etc). Can't say I buy into the fit and fabulous position of this for a number of reasons...
When your fat, as previously mentioned numerous times, exercise in the majority of traditional way, shapes and forms not only intimidate but they actually scare the living beejesus out of you for a whole raft of reasons. Humiliating oneself in front of the fit and fabulous really is only the beginning. The thought of pain, no matter what intensity scares most fatties witless. Combine this with the mental, physical and emotional barriers...fear of failure, fear of hurting yourself, fear of embarrassing yourself, fear of looking like a fat over ripe tomato with arms and legs, fear of letting yourself down, fear of letting someone else down...fear, fear, fear...the result? Complete and utter inaction, food - to comfort those feelings of terror and low and behold...your in the fat people's section of Myer unable to find any Big is Beautiful clothing (if that's what you can call it cause it sure as hell isn't fashion) to fit you!
This is where I firmly believe swimming can become a 'buoy' so to speak...alright so you have to once again humiliate yourself and get a special order of swimwear in at the local Swimeroo (shock horror they don't actually stock Speedos in size 22/24) and yes being seen in public in a swim suit (no even black is not slimming in a one-piece) does take the dignity into the sewer and beyond but there is a certain freedom, weightlessness and sense of achievement that comes from thrashing up and down that lane and getting your heart rate up!
So backing up for a swim with the G-Star was actually not a bad thing. Water was freezing (heated pool my arse) but once in and moving things always seem to look better...time to think...time to just be
The result of this cardio effort:
Training Time:9.43am
Length of Training Time: 55minutes 43sec
Intensity: 1-2
Calories Burnt: 874
Cal Fat: 11%
Not a bad morning's effort even if I do say so myself! Seemingly on track for my first 4 hour day!
That's when things kinda started going a little off track... G-Star was having a BIO Age test done at 1pm so I thought it would be good to back up and do some more cardio at the gym while she was getting the test done. Session was shorter than I wanted (taking the Maddie to lunch so had to be on time!) and did burn some calories (some is always better than none) but that's where the day's effort stopped. I had grand plans to take in a Yoga class or do some more time on the treadmill but after a nice lunch, feeling a little sleepy, a little sore really not that much desire to do any more for the day. I am starting to see this as a bit of a PM curse - let's call it my bewitching hours (after 12.00noon I turn into a bigger fat pumpkin!).
Having said that, my short sharp cardio session resulted in:
Training Time:12.47pm
Length of Training Time: 33minutes
Intensity: 2-3
Calories Burnt: 327
Cal Fat: 23%
In total my Wednesday efforts resulted in:
TOTAL Training Time: 2hours 28min 6sec
TOTAl Training Deficit for the day: 1hour 32min (give or take).
So, I'm thinking I need to find some inspiration and knowledge and the best place to get that is from someone who has lived the experience, Biggest Loser Style. Hence, my quest for knowledge begins...
Yours in fatness
LBL
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Week 2 - Tuesday 18 May
Well, coming off the low of Monday I could only go up from there (here's hoping#!?). So Tuesday rolls around and I feel like I have a bit more semblance of control over the what I'm doing and the where to from here!
First point of business for the day was cardio by way of a swim! Never seem to mind this as a start to the day! Love my little Spring Hill Baths (supposedly heated - but at the moment that is really questionable!). I went with the determination to do 45mins hard core cardio and short of drowning, losing an eye to an errant flipper or emptying the pool of all water on entry I was bloody going to do 45mins.
I'm pleased to report that my new found commitment (which had obviously gone AWOL - in hiding under my fat no doubt on Monday) was back in check, eye on the prize and a need to drop at least 5kg this week to get myself back into the game.
Following my efforts at the pool, I went straight to PT with Rod (aka Bastardo my personal Hellfire Mistress of Darkness). Well, let's just say the Rodrigo has decided (no doubt with the B-Man's encouragement) to take it up a notch so to speak. Obviously week one was a lulling me in to a false sense of security because he has sure as hell upped the anti for week two.
Has anyone ever really considered why fat people don't go to gyms? I really think there is a PhD Thesis just waiting to be researched in answer to that one. Let me give you a little bit of insight as to why a fatty like me has never been a gym bunny...
Have you ever been witness to a fat person attempting to exercise? Well of course if you're a Biggest Loser fan (aren't we all) we have all witnessed the ritual humiliation of a select group of fat individuals for our entertainment pleasure. However, when you actually put yourself into that game, ritual humiliation doesn't begin to cover how a fat person feels when training at a gym. Not only do you feel FAT (that's a given) but you also feel self conscious (seeing your fat flying all over the place in very unnatural ways is a little bit of a buzz kill), you are sweating like the proverbial, you're bright red, you can't feel your legs, arms or face for that matter and guess what, at the end of a session...YOU'RE STILL FAT!
This has lead me to my first epiphany of sorts...when you are fat AND attempting to lose weight you cannot afford to have any dignity! Dignity, unfortunately, like decent and fashionable clothes is the purvey of the fit and fabulous. For now, dignity is out the window and it is sweat, fat wobble, throwing up, red faced cheer for me whilst at the gym!
With another new purchase for my weight loss competition under my belt (well just under my boobs to be precise as that's where the heart rate monitor needs to fit) I have been able to track my exertion efforts over the last week and a half.
Polar Heart Rate Monitor: $199.00 + $15.00 p/h
So my efforts for the swim and gym session amounted to the following:
However, in order to in some way make up for my piss poor effort on Monday I then stupidly decided to back up for another PT session with the Hellfire Mistress of Darkness and the G-Star. Sometimes it does actually amaze me at what the human body can do...with a little more determination and a fixed point to achieve for week two and to actually get myself competing in this game, I pulled through (unattractively) a second PT session for the day.
OK so I still haven't hit the 4-6hour daily exercise regime and am almost through week two and this is a little concerning. Not sure what mental and physical hurdles I need to overcome to get myself into the 4-6hour zone but will need to pull something out of the fat and do it fast.
On a final note, another purchase for the day was joining the Biggest Loser Club ($99.00 for three months). The first run through the 'Club's' introduction (given by Alison from Season 3 or 4 can't remember) pissed me to tears.
I find it hideously hypocritical of the Biggest Loser 'celebrities' having 'played the game' and lost masses of weight on a weekly basis for as long as they were in the 'house' to turn around and lecture the fat, overweight, obese individuals who hold them up as some kind of weight loss icon on the importance of losing weight SLOWLY - 0.5 - 1.0kg a week - 'let me show you what that looks like'
...you patronising B***H!
Apparently only those 'lucky' handful of individuals who have been selected for national daily humiliation on a commercial network are 'allowed' to aim for masses of weight loss on a weekly basis!
Anyway more on the Club as I get to understand it a bit better and can hopefully link it to the blog!
The final roundup of Tuesday was as follows:
Training Time Total: 2 hours 28 minutes and 6 secs
Total Calories Burnt: 1798
Daily Training Deficit: 2 hours 32 minutes (give or take)
Really need to get into a different head space if this is going to work the way it needs to for me to be in the 'game'!
Yours in fatness
LBL
First point of business for the day was cardio by way of a swim! Never seem to mind this as a start to the day! Love my little Spring Hill Baths (supposedly heated - but at the moment that is really questionable!). I went with the determination to do 45mins hard core cardio and short of drowning, losing an eye to an errant flipper or emptying the pool of all water on entry I was bloody going to do 45mins.
I'm pleased to report that my new found commitment (which had obviously gone AWOL - in hiding under my fat no doubt on Monday) was back in check, eye on the prize and a need to drop at least 5kg this week to get myself back into the game.
Following my efforts at the pool, I went straight to PT with Rod (aka Bastardo my personal Hellfire Mistress of Darkness). Well, let's just say the Rodrigo has decided (no doubt with the B-Man's encouragement) to take it up a notch so to speak. Obviously week one was a lulling me in to a false sense of security because he has sure as hell upped the anti for week two.
Has anyone ever really considered why fat people don't go to gyms? I really think there is a PhD Thesis just waiting to be researched in answer to that one. Let me give you a little bit of insight as to why a fatty like me has never been a gym bunny...
Have you ever been witness to a fat person attempting to exercise? Well of course if you're a Biggest Loser fan (aren't we all) we have all witnessed the ritual humiliation of a select group of fat individuals for our entertainment pleasure. However, when you actually put yourself into that game, ritual humiliation doesn't begin to cover how a fat person feels when training at a gym. Not only do you feel FAT (that's a given) but you also feel self conscious (seeing your fat flying all over the place in very unnatural ways is a little bit of a buzz kill), you are sweating like the proverbial, you're bright red, you can't feel your legs, arms or face for that matter and guess what, at the end of a session...YOU'RE STILL FAT!
This has lead me to my first epiphany of sorts...when you are fat AND attempting to lose weight you cannot afford to have any dignity! Dignity, unfortunately, like decent and fashionable clothes is the purvey of the fit and fabulous. For now, dignity is out the window and it is sweat, fat wobble, throwing up, red faced cheer for me whilst at the gym!
With another new purchase for my weight loss competition under my belt (well just under my boobs to be precise as that's where the heart rate monitor needs to fit) I have been able to track my exertion efforts over the last week and a half.
Polar Heart Rate Monitor: $199.00 + $15.00 p/h
So my efforts for the swim and gym session amounted to the following:
However, in order to in some way make up for my piss poor effort on Monday I then stupidly decided to back up for another PT session with the Hellfire Mistress of Darkness and the G-Star. Sometimes it does actually amaze me at what the human body can do...with a little more determination and a fixed point to achieve for week two and to actually get myself competing in this game, I pulled through (unattractively) a second PT session for the day.
OK so I still haven't hit the 4-6hour daily exercise regime and am almost through week two and this is a little concerning. Not sure what mental and physical hurdles I need to overcome to get myself into the 4-6hour zone but will need to pull something out of the fat and do it fast.
On a final note, another purchase for the day was joining the Biggest Loser Club ($99.00 for three months). The first run through the 'Club's' introduction (given by Alison from Season 3 or 4 can't remember) pissed me to tears.
I find it hideously hypocritical of the Biggest Loser 'celebrities' having 'played the game' and lost masses of weight on a weekly basis for as long as they were in the 'house' to turn around and lecture the fat, overweight, obese individuals who hold them up as some kind of weight loss icon on the importance of losing weight SLOWLY - 0.5 - 1.0kg a week - 'let me show you what that looks like'
...you patronising B***H!
Apparently only those 'lucky' handful of individuals who have been selected for national daily humiliation on a commercial network are 'allowed' to aim for masses of weight loss on a weekly basis!
Anyway more on the Club as I get to understand it a bit better and can hopefully link it to the blog!
The final roundup of Tuesday was as follows:
Training Time Total: 2 hours 28 minutes and 6 secs
Total Calories Burnt: 1798
Daily Training Deficit: 2 hours 32 minutes (give or take)
Really need to get into a different head space if this is going to work the way it needs to for me to be in the 'game'!
Yours in fatness
LBL
Monday, May 17, 2010
Week 2 - Monday 17 May
Well today has been a total bust! Having had my rest day on Sunday (16 May) - Monday morning rolled around with a well thought out plan and absolutely no intention of seeing it through. A really bad night's sleep, a headache and a this is completely F***ed attitude saw my mental state and commitment take a dive of absolutely mammoth proportions.
Cancelled on PT - thankfully Rod was extremely understanding (perhaps he shouldn't have been) and then received an extended 'abuse' call from G-Star about commitment, seeing things through and just plain getting off my sizable arse and doing something!
With that in mind I did what all good fat people do...NO I DIDN'T EAT...I went shopping...just to depress myself even more!!!
The fit and fabulous are obviously the designers for all fat peoples' clothing...what incredibly intelligent individual came up with horizontal stripes on a valour hot pink tracksuit in size 24?
So, being in a particularly low state, not having trained and heading into the fat people's section of Myer, I was sure to boost my confidence and mood!
Another bug bare for the fat is the fact that clothing (be it ugly or incredibly ugly) is excessively high priced (obviously the more hideous fabric needed to cover that hideous fat is far more costly!).
In a rare moment of fat people shopping euphoria I actually came across some plain black tracksuit pants (size XL) that fell within the budget. All told my shopping expedition resulted in the following:
1. Black Tracksuit pants - $45.00 (reduced from $69.95)
2. White Tracksuit top - $45.00 (reduced from $69.95)
3. Black Tracksuit pants - $8.95 (reduced from $35.00)
TOTAL COST: $98.95
With my new purchases in tow and G-Star's ranting and raving in my ears, I decided to drag more sorry arse to the pool for a swim:
Daily Activity for Monday 17 May: 1hour cardio - swim
Daily Activity Deficit for the Day (compared to Biggest Loser): between 3 and 5 hours.
SHIT!
LBL
Cancelled on PT - thankfully Rod was extremely understanding (perhaps he shouldn't have been) and then received an extended 'abuse' call from G-Star about commitment, seeing things through and just plain getting off my sizable arse and doing something!
With that in mind I did what all good fat people do...NO I DIDN'T EAT...I went shopping...just to depress myself even more!!!
The fit and fabulous are obviously the designers for all fat peoples' clothing...what incredibly intelligent individual came up with horizontal stripes on a valour hot pink tracksuit in size 24?
So, being in a particularly low state, not having trained and heading into the fat people's section of Myer, I was sure to boost my confidence and mood!
Another bug bare for the fat is the fact that clothing (be it ugly or incredibly ugly) is excessively high priced (obviously the more hideous fabric needed to cover that hideous fat is far more costly!).
In a rare moment of fat people shopping euphoria I actually came across some plain black tracksuit pants (size XL) that fell within the budget. All told my shopping expedition resulted in the following:
1. Black Tracksuit pants - $45.00 (reduced from $69.95)
2. White Tracksuit top - $45.00 (reduced from $69.95)
3. Black Tracksuit pants - $8.95 (reduced from $35.00)
TOTAL COST: $98.95
With my new purchases in tow and G-Star's ranting and raving in my ears, I decided to drag more sorry arse to the pool for a swim:
Daily Activity for Monday 17 May: 1hour cardio - swim
Daily Activity Deficit for the Day (compared to Biggest Loser): between 3 and 5 hours.
SHIT!
LBL
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Week 1 - Continued
So, as depressing as my Australian competition efforts were for the first week I thought it would be interesting to bring in the current US Series as another comparison. On this front it would appear I am performing a little better and am better placed in the 'Game':
This has given me a glimmer of hope about my first week's efforts but obviously there is still plenty of work to be done!
LBL
This has given me a glimmer of hope about my first week's efforts but obviously there is still plenty of work to be done!
LBL
Week 1
The first week buzzed by in a bit of a blur and of course, not being completely on-top of what this experiment actually meant, my blogging side of life did not take place. That said I will get you all up to speed very quickly...
First Week Training: Well haven't been able to hit the 4-6hours as espoused by Bob from the American Biggest Loser but gave it a good old college try! Averaged about 2.5-3hours training over six days (Monday 10 May to Saturday 15 May) - training included one PT session daily with the Evil Hellfire Mistress - Rodrigo and cardion which included swimming and walking.
First Week Eating: This was a bit of a problem area for me because unlike being in the actual 'Biggest Loser House' my entire week saw me confronted by temptation. This is an interesting aspect of 'the competition' that really grates on my nerves. The 'Oh Woe Is Me' crap that the remaining contestants dribble out when people get sent home to their families while they remain in 'THE HOUSE' being spoon fed with calorie controlled, chef prepared cooking, gym access 24 hours a day and personal trainers on tap! So the week was on-going food temptation with social occassions, catch up with friends and family dinner. On this front, I did my best...probably not at good as the in-house contestants but all the same was far more conscious of what was going in (in terms of food)!
The end of my first week in the house saw rest day on Sunday and weekly weigh in:
Starting Weight 112.0kg
Week One: 109.6
Loss: 2.4kg
Percentage Weight Loss: 2.14%
So where does this put me in the game... LAST BY A LONG SHOT!
LBL
First Week Training: Well haven't been able to hit the 4-6hours as espoused by Bob from the American Biggest Loser but gave it a good old college try! Averaged about 2.5-3hours training over six days (Monday 10 May to Saturday 15 May) - training included one PT session daily with the Evil Hellfire Mistress - Rodrigo and cardion which included swimming and walking.
First Week Eating: This was a bit of a problem area for me because unlike being in the actual 'Biggest Loser House' my entire week saw me confronted by temptation. This is an interesting aspect of 'the competition' that really grates on my nerves. The 'Oh Woe Is Me' crap that the remaining contestants dribble out when people get sent home to their families while they remain in 'THE HOUSE' being spoon fed with calorie controlled, chef prepared cooking, gym access 24 hours a day and personal trainers on tap! So the week was on-going food temptation with social occassions, catch up with friends and family dinner. On this front, I did my best...probably not at good as the in-house contestants but all the same was far more conscious of what was going in (in terms of food)!
The end of my first week in the house saw rest day on Sunday and weekly weigh in:
Starting Weight 112.0kg
Week One: 109.6
Loss: 2.4kg
Percentage Weight Loss: 2.14%
So where does this put me in the game... LAST BY A LONG SHOT!
LBL
Monday, May 3, 2010
Start Today - What a load of crap!
I just love how the fit and fabulous with their book deals and television shows are always espousing the 'Don't do it tomorrow, DO IT TODAY!' mantra when patronising we fatties. If we could do it today, we would have done it on the millions of today's that have past over our fat history and we wouldn't find ourselves in our current situation now would we Einstein?
The 'DO IT NOW' garbage has never been a real winner for me. OK I'm a bit of a procrastinator but more that that, I'm a BIG PLANNER. Madsie has eloquently highlighted that I'm actually great on the planning...not so good on the follow through. OK so that may be another short coming of mine but in this instance I really do believe proper planning will prevent piss poor performance (or something like that).
So in preparation, I knew I had to do a few really important things. I knew these were going to cost money. I knew this was going to take time. Fortunately, for the purposes of my little experiment I have officially termed myself 'unemployed' - that is I work for myself and am in the fortunate financial position to be able to take or leave work as I see 'fit' and I really mean FIT! So time and money are not a big concern for my social experiment (within reason) the only thing standing in my way is, well ME!
So with G-Star (Gen my trusty partner and biggest fan) in tow, I headed out to put my insanity into practice:
Step One: Purchase all relevant Biggest Loser Paraphernalia including:
1. The Biggest Loser Change Your Life Book $34.95
2. The Biggest Loser Temptation Busters $29.95
3. The Biggest Loser Meal Replacement Starter Kit $34.95 (on special at Coles)
Total Cost $99.85
Step Two: Join a Gym
Head on down to the local gym walk in, see the gorgeous JaqStar (Jacqui) at the counter and curse the day I ever dreamt up this ridiculous plan! Tell the JaqStar that I wish to join the gym for three months! No more, no less! I don't want to know what they can do for me, I don't want to know how fantastic exercise is (as a very loud guffaw escapes my otherwise incredibly negative self), I don't want to know how I will come to 'love the gym' - excuse my french but BULLSHIT! Having no doubt scared the JaqStar into submission I was toot sweet introduced to the B-Man. Now just to give you a visual, the B-Man (Brandon) and co owner of said Gym with the JaqStar has muscles in places that I don't even have fat! Actually he has muscles in places I don't even have places! That said I thought it might be novel to regale both the B-Man and the JaqStar with a quick run down of my 'quest' so to speak.
Surprising, unlike most fit and fabulous, the B-Man and JaqStar were both really intrigued by my little experiment (both being closet Biggest Loser Tragics themselves) and after the filling of a few forms, the exchanging of a few credit card details the deed was done. I HAD OFFICIALLY JOINED A GYM!
Cost: $17.95 per week
Step Three: Find a personal trainer (my Michelle, Shannon, Bob or Jillian - I wish)
Having left my newly found guru B-Man in charge of assessing appropriate Personal Training options for me out of their stable of personal trainers, I felt confident that I had indeed proved the Madsie wrong in the immediate term and had commenced operation Living Biggest Loser with a bang!
That same evening (the B-Man is a man of his word!) I received a call from Rodrigo who is to become my personal Hellfire Mistress of Darkness. Unfortunately Rod being male looks absolutely nothing like Jillian (from the US Biggest Loser) and in no way entices me (from a visual perspective) to attend personal training sessions. However, in spite of his misgivings once I explained my GRAND PLAN, the Rodster is on board are raring to go.
Cost: 10 PT Session (30mins) - $425.00
So the pieces are falling into place, D-Day is fast approaching and I am about to 'enter the competition' - wish me luck!
Yours in fatness
LBL
The 'DO IT NOW' garbage has never been a real winner for me. OK I'm a bit of a procrastinator but more that that, I'm a BIG PLANNER. Madsie has eloquently highlighted that I'm actually great on the planning...not so good on the follow through. OK so that may be another short coming of mine but in this instance I really do believe proper planning will prevent piss poor performance (or something like that).
So in preparation, I knew I had to do a few really important things. I knew these were going to cost money. I knew this was going to take time. Fortunately, for the purposes of my little experiment I have officially termed myself 'unemployed' - that is I work for myself and am in the fortunate financial position to be able to take or leave work as I see 'fit' and I really mean FIT! So time and money are not a big concern for my social experiment (within reason) the only thing standing in my way is, well ME!
So with G-Star (Gen my trusty partner and biggest fan) in tow, I headed out to put my insanity into practice:
Step One: Purchase all relevant Biggest Loser Paraphernalia including:
1. The Biggest Loser Change Your Life Book $34.95
2. The Biggest Loser Temptation Busters $29.95
3. The Biggest Loser Meal Replacement Starter Kit $34.95 (on special at Coles)
Total Cost $99.85
Step Two: Join a Gym
Head on down to the local gym walk in, see the gorgeous JaqStar (Jacqui) at the counter and curse the day I ever dreamt up this ridiculous plan! Tell the JaqStar that I wish to join the gym for three months! No more, no less! I don't want to know what they can do for me, I don't want to know how fantastic exercise is (as a very loud guffaw escapes my otherwise incredibly negative self), I don't want to know how I will come to 'love the gym' - excuse my french but BULLSHIT! Having no doubt scared the JaqStar into submission I was toot sweet introduced to the B-Man. Now just to give you a visual, the B-Man (Brandon) and co owner of said Gym with the JaqStar has muscles in places that I don't even have fat! Actually he has muscles in places I don't even have places! That said I thought it might be novel to regale both the B-Man and the JaqStar with a quick run down of my 'quest' so to speak.
Surprising, unlike most fit and fabulous, the B-Man and JaqStar were both really intrigued by my little experiment (both being closet Biggest Loser Tragics themselves) and after the filling of a few forms, the exchanging of a few credit card details the deed was done. I HAD OFFICIALLY JOINED A GYM!
Cost: $17.95 per week
Step Three: Find a personal trainer (my Michelle, Shannon, Bob or Jillian - I wish)
Having left my newly found guru B-Man in charge of assessing appropriate Personal Training options for me out of their stable of personal trainers, I felt confident that I had indeed proved the Madsie wrong in the immediate term and had commenced operation Living Biggest Loser with a bang!
That same evening (the B-Man is a man of his word!) I received a call from Rodrigo who is to become my personal Hellfire Mistress of Darkness. Unfortunately Rod being male looks absolutely nothing like Jillian (from the US Biggest Loser) and in no way entices me (from a visual perspective) to attend personal training sessions. However, in spite of his misgivings once I explained my GRAND PLAN, the Rodster is on board are raring to go.
Cost: 10 PT Session (30mins) - $425.00
So the pieces are falling into place, D-Day is fast approaching and I am about to 'enter the competition' - wish me luck!
Yours in fatness
LBL
Saturday, May 1, 2010
THE Plan
Following on from my first post, where you were all left hanging no doubt in uncomfortable anticipation, it is now time to reveal my PLAN.
As previously mentioned, this has been 15+ years in the making and what many would say is a lifetime of procrastination but finally I have made a decision..I AM GOING TO LOSE WEIGHT!
That said, it is probably worthwhile highlighting that I don't intend to lose weight just any ol' way, oh no, not me! I, in my limited grasp on my own sanity, thought it would be novel to undertake a social (and personal) experiment, so to speak, using myself as the obstinate, fat Guinea pig (or equally tubby lab rat...take your pick).
So this is THE PLAN:
As mentioned earlier, having been an avid watcher, criticiser, commentator and all round sarcastic bitch when watching the last 3,4 or 5 (I can't remember now) series of the Biggest Loser (both Australian and American editions) I have decided that the only way to prove (or disprove) my cynicism is to actual Live the Biggest Loser - realty style!
Now, I'm not a big one for 'reality' television. Actually I think it's a pile of shit to be perfectly honest which is probably why I didn't personally stick my fat hand up and make a hideous application video for the actual Biggest Loser show. Having said that, it is fascinating how a 'competition' as it is sold to the broader overweight public has become such a staple of our viewing entertainment.
So, over the next 3 months (in the house so to speak) I intend to live, eat, breath, sweat, dream and all other bodily functions - BIGGEST LOSER STYLE.
I am going to 'put myself' in the game and each week will 'weigh in' against the other contestants (from previous Australian and American series) and pit myself against them in an effort to figure out whether or not the overwhelming social influence such a program has on the overweight and obese around the country (and the globe) is warranted.
In addition to this, I will be tracking the various costs associated with Living Biggest Loser...this will include the financial, social and other costs of embarking upon this experiment.
In order to achieve this experiment, I have spent the better part of the last month preparing for my entry in the 'house'. Over the next few posts I will take you through what this preparation has entailed, what it has cost so far and some of the what I hope to achieve by actually embarking upon this insanity.
So until I take that walk down the long Biggest Loser House driveway...
Yours in fatness
LBL
As previously mentioned, this has been 15+ years in the making and what many would say is a lifetime of procrastination but finally I have made a decision..I AM GOING TO LOSE WEIGHT!
That said, it is probably worthwhile highlighting that I don't intend to lose weight just any ol' way, oh no, not me! I, in my limited grasp on my own sanity, thought it would be novel to undertake a social (and personal) experiment, so to speak, using myself as the obstinate, fat Guinea pig (or equally tubby lab rat...take your pick).
So this is THE PLAN:
As mentioned earlier, having been an avid watcher, criticiser, commentator and all round sarcastic bitch when watching the last 3,4 or 5 (I can't remember now) series of the Biggest Loser (both Australian and American editions) I have decided that the only way to prove (or disprove) my cynicism is to actual Live the Biggest Loser - realty style!
Now, I'm not a big one for 'reality' television. Actually I think it's a pile of shit to be perfectly honest which is probably why I didn't personally stick my fat hand up and make a hideous application video for the actual Biggest Loser show. Having said that, it is fascinating how a 'competition' as it is sold to the broader overweight public has become such a staple of our viewing entertainment.
So, over the next 3 months (in the house so to speak) I intend to live, eat, breath, sweat, dream and all other bodily functions - BIGGEST LOSER STYLE.
I am going to 'put myself' in the game and each week will 'weigh in' against the other contestants (from previous Australian and American series) and pit myself against them in an effort to figure out whether or not the overwhelming social influence such a program has on the overweight and obese around the country (and the globe) is warranted.
In addition to this, I will be tracking the various costs associated with Living Biggest Loser...this will include the financial, social and other costs of embarking upon this experiment.
In order to achieve this experiment, I have spent the better part of the last month preparing for my entry in the 'house'. Over the next few posts I will take you through what this preparation has entailed, what it has cost so far and some of the what I hope to achieve by actually embarking upon this insanity.
So until I take that walk down the long Biggest Loser House driveway...
Yours in fatness
LBL
The Planning
Having been contemplating weight loss for approximately the last 10+ years and having neither the fortitude or overwhelming desire to actual do anything about it, at 36 years of age I find myself in a rather under-performing, underachieving and put quite bluntly under attractive body. I've had a fair share of health issues throughout the last 10 years not the least of which has been the removal of major body parts (thyroid and uterus) as a last ditch attempt at shedding those unwanted pounds (only half joking on that front!). So as far as body function goes, let's just say as someone who has been identified as an overachiever, I am pretty well underdone and undone in this area!
So...having been freakishly addicted to the Biggest Loser ever since the luscious Gillian Michaels and not so luscious Bob Harper graced our shores in 2006, I have been fascinated by the global phenomenon of watching fat people humiliate themselves for public consumption known as entertainment.
Year after year I have watched the program (both Australian and US) religiously with a cynical guffaw at the broken individuals who are so desperate to lose weight they are willing to humiliate themselves on national television on a daily basis. All the while thinking obnoxiously to myself that, oh well, I may be fat but I'm not THAT FAT!
Well guess what, I am THAT FAT and I'm not getting any thinner or younger!
So with this in mind a sinister plan started formulating in my complex (and often scary) mind. What would force, that's right, FORCE me to lose weight? My partner hasn't been able to do it, almost dying (a number of times) hasn't been able to do it, being miserable (on a relative scale) when attempting to purchase somewhat remotely fashionable clothes in the fat people's section of Myer hasn't been able to do it...so what would do IT?
Ritual humiliation on a grand scale!
So with that in mind, I started to hatch my plan...and it goes a little somethin' like this...
So...having been freakishly addicted to the Biggest Loser ever since the luscious Gillian Michaels and not so luscious Bob Harper graced our shores in 2006, I have been fascinated by the global phenomenon of watching fat people humiliate themselves for public consumption known as entertainment.
Year after year I have watched the program (both Australian and US) religiously with a cynical guffaw at the broken individuals who are so desperate to lose weight they are willing to humiliate themselves on national television on a daily basis. All the while thinking obnoxiously to myself that, oh well, I may be fat but I'm not THAT FAT!
Well guess what, I am THAT FAT and I'm not getting any thinner or younger!
So with this in mind a sinister plan started formulating in my complex (and often scary) mind. What would force, that's right, FORCE me to lose weight? My partner hasn't been able to do it, almost dying (a number of times) hasn't been able to do it, being miserable (on a relative scale) when attempting to purchase somewhat remotely fashionable clothes in the fat people's section of Myer hasn't been able to do it...so what would do IT?
Ritual humiliation on a grand scale!
So with that in mind, I started to hatch my plan...and it goes a little somethin' like this...
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